Thursday, January 19, 2012

Random emotional update that doesn't really make any sense

I'm 21 years old. I'm supposed to know what I want. I'm supposed to be sure of what I feel. I'm supposed to be absolutely certain about the decisions that I make.

But I'm not.

Never have.

Probably never will too.

Doubts are such an annoying vibe to have. They make you rethink about the things you have decided for yourself. Works well alongside its faithful friend, time. Over time doubt will grow and you'll end up being completely mislead of the choices that you've made because you're unsure of whether they'll actually be taking you somewhere or they just seem to be taking you somewhere.

It's not such a nice feeling to stand like a statue at one exact point and just watch people walk by you, watch things happen around you, watch the needles on your clock reach their destination and not be a part of it.

I don't get myself most of the time. Maybe other people do. Or maybe they just think they do. Or I just think that I don't get myself most of the time.

And maybe, maybe is not such a bad word after all.

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