Wednesday, December 31, 2008

iam

I AM SO !@#$%^&* PISSED.

An evening in the park.

EN GARDE!

this is what happens when i get in my extreme literature mood.


I looked right.I looked left.as I was about to turn my head I saw a young teenage couple.Probably not much older than I am.The two lovebirds were walking hand in hand and occasionally, the guy would pinch the girl's cheek and the she would pout in disagreement.I stared at them for a few moments before finally slipping into the crowd to get myself away from those two lustful lovers.

I kept walking until I saw an unoccupied bench.I sat down and crossed my legs.I kept this position until a frail-looking old man came and sat beside me.He said,"young lady,crossing your legs is a very shameful and disrespectful act." I stared at the old man.I wondered what he would say if he was the two lovebirds i saw earlier.Heart attack?Probably.

I smiled at him and uncrossed my legs.I turned to my rip curl sling bag and started rummaging for the book that i just bought at MPH earlier."Why waste your time when you hardly have any left?"I told myself.As I started to flip open the first page I saw the old man staring at me.He asked,"Is that a book in foreign language?" I smiled at him again and nodded.He turned away from me and stared down at the floor with such deep thoughts.I buried myself in the depths of my book and without any jolts to reality,I started biting my nails.As I was on to the second finger the old man clicked his tongue and said to me,"Why on earth are you biting your nails?Its such a nasty thing to do."

Three interruptions was still tolerable.But when the fourth came regarding my lip-chewing habit I exploded with rage and impatience."I don't mean to be rude old man,but don't you have other things to be done than sitting on this bench and critic my doings all day?" My voice was raised.But it wasn't high.Although he was starting to get on my nerves,I still have respect for him since he's and old man who looks like he hasn't been fed for a few years.

The old man was startled by my sudden emotional outburst.As he stared at me with his dark beady eyes I began to feel guilty.I faced him and said,"I'm sorry if I was rude old man.But I really don't like to be interrupted when I'm reading."after I finished he stared at me longer before saying something.It was barely a whisper,"You're like her.You really are like her." I looked at him in confusion.I started to figure out about what he was talking about and I nearly came to a conclusion that he was senile.But a senile man wouldn't tell a young lady what is rude and what is not would he?So I became curious and asked,"What are you talking about?"

The old man paused for a moment before replying,"You're like Een.You're like my daughter."As soon as I heard the word daughter I felt some interest aroused within me.I asked him again,"Oh you have a daughter?What's her name?" his answer made me frown,"I had a daughter.Her name was Een."I was still confused when I asked,"Why did you say 'you had a daughter'?What happened to Een?"the old man shifted his gaze from me.He took out something from his pocket.It was a silver plated wristwatch.But i saw that the both the needles had stopped moving."Hey the wristwatch is broken.Why wouldn't you go and have it repaired?Maybe polish it a bit too.Then it'll look as good as new!" I suggested to the old man.I became deadpan as he repeated his words,"You're like Een.You're like my daughter."

With those last words, he dropped off the bench and onto the floor with a loud thud.My pupil dilated as I panicked and yelled for help.A Good Samaritan who was passing by heard my scream of despair and came over to see what was the screaming all about."He was talking..and then he just..dropped onto the ..floor."I was breathing heavily as I explained because I saw that blood was oozing out from the old man's nostrils.The Good Samaritan called over a few more passersby and he got someone to call the ambulance.I asked him with uncertainty,"Is he..going to be..alright?" the Good Samaritan did what he should have done moments ago.He checked the old man's pulse.My heart throbbed as if it was coming out with each second passing.I looked at the Good Samaritan for confirmation of my earlier question.He faced me slowly and said,"He's dead."Only god knows how shocked I was.Thoughts were running through my head,"Who is this man?Why did he say i was like his daughter?Why did he suddenly dropped dead?" I remained seated on the bench as the situation become hectic.My face was as white as snow,as cold as ice because I just witnessed an old man dropping dead.I was left with no answers to the thoughts in my head.Everything was a big giant blur for me.

The firm grip of a hand on my shoulder shocked me back to reality.I turned around and there was the Good Samaritan,giving me a sympathized smile."I'm sorry."was all that he could muster.He then turned around and continued heading down the path he was walking when he heard my frantic screams minutes earlier.I was left alone with the racing thoughts in my head.Alas,i looked up at the sky."God really does work in mysterious ways."I said to myself as I rose from my startled state and started the journey back home.



* * *

duuude.i never knew i could produce this kind of essay O.O

hm?

ramai orang ada azam tahun baru.saya pun mahu juga.tapi saya tidak tahu apa yang saya mahu.jadi saya gunakan otak saya untuk berfikir tentang apa yang saya mahu.setelah saya berfikir saya telah tahu apa yang saya mahu.

saya mahu israel dibom dengan 30 bom yang menghentam hiroshima dan nagasaki.

saya mahu palestin menjadi negara yang aman damai dan subur dengan tumbuh-tumbuhan dan sebatang sungai dengan air jernih tanpa setitik darah mengalir dengan tenangnya.

saya mahu semua orang dalam dunia ini baling semua pasang kasut yang mereka miliki dengan sekuat hati ke arah muka !@#$%^&* bush si bastard itu.

saya mahu obama mengambil tindakan tegas dan asap tentang peperangan di iraq atau saya akan membeli sepasang 10-inch stilettos berjenama jimmy choo untuk dibaling ke kepalanya pada kadar kelajuan 350km/h.

saya mahu tinggal di sebuah negara islam dimana majoriti rakyatnya merupakan islam yang bukan hanya pada nama sahaja seperi yang kita lihat sekarang.

sesi mengomel:
jika anda perempuan yang beragama islam,anda wajib memakai tudung.jika anda kata tiada paksaan dalam islam dan anda ada pilihan untuk memakai tudung atau tidak,itu semua bullshit sahaja.ya saya pun tengok orang ramai tayang rambut kadang-kadang kena cucuk dengan lidi syaiton juga untuk sama tunjuk.tapi hanya satu benda yang jolt saya kembali ke realiti.

1 helai rambut=10 dosa

sanggupkah anda?saya ini sudahlah manusia yang hina lagi durjana.saya tahu memang saya ada dosa.nauzubillah banyak.sudah berdosa nak ditambah lagi dengan tayangan perdana rambut hanya-tuhan-yang-tahu berapa helai itu?tak apa saja lah.

kadang-kadang saya fikir?kamu orang ini tak fikir esok-esok kah?masih berpegang pada prinsip 'taubat bila dah tua'?ajal datang bila-bila.kurangkanlah dosa sementara masa masih ada.bila baca jangan kutuk saya kata "ah kau poyo je.mcam aku xtau ko pna slempang tudung" ah tunggu dulu,saya tak geleng kiri kanan lagi.saya berani angguk atas bawah dan mengaku.memang saya pernah selempang tudung.orang bodoh lah katakan.tapi sejak kebelakangan ni saya fikir lagi,apa guna?nak tayang apa?untuk tatapan siapa?harga diri aku ni macamana?tudung untuk tutup rambut dan dada.yang kau syok-syok pergi selempang tu ada apa?

saya jalan-jalan di one utama selalu saya nampak perempuan-perempuan yang barangkali masih belum mendapat hidayah ;bertudung selempang,berbaju baby tee dan yang paling menggelikan hati berseluar capri?"kau ni nak buktikan apa sebenarnya?"saya tanya-tanya.tapi tak berani lah nak tanya depan kerana saya masih sayangkan nyawa saya.saya pandang dan tersengih sahaja.dalam situasi sebegini tidak ada banyak yang dapat saya lakukan selain mencegah dengan hati iaitu selemah-lemah iman(masok pndidikan agama da ni weh).

eh tersimpang jauh pula.mari kembali ke azam-azam tahun baru saya yang sudah tak bunyi macam azam tahun baru itu.

saya mahu

saya mahu

saya mahu

uh saya sudah tidak tahu apa yang saya mahukan lagi.saya akan sambung tulis jika Allah berikan izin-Nya pada keesokan hari.dengan ini saya undur ini.babai anda semua.babai babai dan babai lagi.

hoik

"ada apa dengan cinta dunia?"


malam ini merupakan satu malam dimana perempuan-perempuan murah akan menjadi lebih murah dan lelaki-lelaki keji akan bertambah keji.

malam ini merupakan satu malam dimana akan berlaku persenyewaan diantara sperma dan ovum di serata malaysia.

malam ini merupakan satu malam yang akan disesali oleh perempuan-perempuan berakal cetek.

malam ini merupakan satu malam dimana berkotak-kotak kondom akan dijual dengan laris di 7-eleven,guardian dan kedai-kedai seumpamanya.

malam ini merupakan satu malam yang menjadi bukti mengapa malaysia ini bukanlah sebuah negara islam yang sebenarnya.

malam ini merupakan malam dimana akan akan terjadi perkara-perkara yang akan menyumbang kepada peningkatan kes-kes buang bayi pada bulan september 2009.

malam ini merupakan satu malam yang dibanggakan oleh pemimpin-pemimpin negara kerana ia akan disambut dengan sorakan lelaki dan perempuan yang bergaul bebas dan bunga api berharga jutaan ringgit yang lebih baik jika dibelanjakan untuk keperluan fakir-fakir miskin di malaysia.

malam ini merupakan satu malam yang bakal mengubah hidup ramai orang yang tidak berhati-hati di luar sana.

malam ini malam apa?

malam kemaksiatan berleluasa.malam hukum haram berzina diterajang ketepi saja.malam hina yang penuh noda. malam ini malam tahun baru.

three words people,JANGAN JADI BODOH.

Monday, December 29, 2008

hint

oh my tuhan this is such a jengkel situation.

i was about to write this one hell of a loooooooong post and a stupid big dumb cockroach JUST HAVE TO whis happily past me FLYING and landing on the curtain 2 and half inches from me.in case u didnt know i REALLY REALLY hate cockroaches.especially the flying-and-landing-on-a-curtain-2.5-inches-from-where-you-were-seating type.oh god why cant cockraches be like butterflies?okay not the,uh,winged and coloured part(a WINGED and COLOURED cockroch?ohmyganja).so i thnk ill be postponing my long-as-hell post tomorrow.and an early notice,there will be LOTS and LOTS of pictures in it peopleso prepare to get annoyed looking at MY FACE muahaha.

oh before i forgot,i went to mph and i bought kinsella's latest book!titled 'REMEMBER ME?' and i finished reading it in 5 hours.i know,SUEI la.dah lah i bot with my first pay.i was shaking when i hand tht cashier a RM50 turquoise(blue?green?) note fresh from my purse.altho it was only RM34.80 i saja lah nak tunjuk kaya bagi fifty.*makes the im-so-rich-i-wipe-my-mucus-with-rm50-notes face*well the point is i hate buying 30 somethng books and finish reading them in a few hours.like,soo not worth it lah.dumbass.why do you have to read so fast hah?*whacks own head with more rm50 notes*

i cant wait to buy the whole twilight saga with my january pay!i think its rm300 somethng.from twilight to wht,breaking dawn ah now?well yeah im thnking of buying all five(or all four?oh crap im planning to buy it and i dont even know how many books sudah keluar) when i get my pay!i hate working.but i do love the money.haha.

uh-oh.this is morphing from just a notice to one heck of a post.till tomorrow ppl,my bed is already shooting me the annoyed look already.toodles.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

hookah

i am feeling very miserable right now.because i am here sitting in the family hall BLOGGING,while my friends are probably indulging themselves in barbecued chicken wings dipped in black pepper sauce.screww themm.i wish i can drive so that i can stay back as long as i want.and oh yeah,i want my curfews to be extended too lol.

today's reunion/gathering/barbecue(in which i didn't even sempat makan pun huh) was such a blast.it wasn't the food or the activities(altho i really like the slide show by afee and syfqah and that funny game we played lol) it was all about meeting up with those peoples.those peoples whom i really really really miss.we didn't meet a lot these past few years since we were dead busy preparing for spm blablabla.but now that its over,i feel that we're even closer than ever.

so i arrived at the school at eight.AT BLOODY EIGHT.and the gathering starts at twelve.AT BLOODY TWELVE.so u can imagine how bored and pissed i was that my sister sent me so damn early huh.i tak ada buku nak baca and my dumb earphone rosak like,WADAHEL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR FOUR HOURS FLAT?well this was wht i did,

8.00: arrived at school.saw qutu and amirahafit.sesi salam-salam and qutu was all like,"pergilah jalan-jalan around sekolah.ull be surprised at how much thngs have chnged.reminisce your past moments here bebeh".so yeah i went for the walk.

oh wtf im too lazy to state from minute to minute wht was i doing for four hours.BANYAK KERJA DOEH.so i jalan-jalan around the school and i was very surprised indeed.like doood i didnt kno the surau ada dua tingkat!i think i gaped at it for about 5 minutes to make sure tht i wasnt just imagining the other floor lol.so then after i sudah penat jalan-jalan i went bak to the pondok and sat down.talked wth qutu for a while.then she went to uia to stay at her mum's office since she was so bored and she wants to pick up smethng from her i thnk.so yeah i was left alone wth amirahafit whom i havent exchanged more than 3 words since we met.okay lol tht was a bit exaggerating but wht was i supposed to say to her to start a proper civilized convo?"amirah,ana suka baju anti lah."wtf so lame -.-"

soon afterwards cik yam came!but i still felt alone since they were all budak-budak yang baik and i was the screwed up one waiting for my other screwed up friends to show up lol.then i was so bored like hell tahap ohmyganja punye bored i did these thngs repeatedly:

-tries to sleeps on a tupperware someone left at the pondok.
-not able to REALLY sleep since tupperware very damn hard like !@#$%^&* wan.
-shiftes head position in hope that a comfortable spot on the tupperware could be found.
-fails miserably and shiftes head to original head-cracking position.
-gets up and looks around for familiar faces.
-tries to sleep on tupperware again with heavily disappointed face while cursing screwed up friends for being late.

and the circle goes on and on and on.

it was about 1230 when ppl actually started to pour in.i was so hungreh so i went to tht tmpat yang banyak-banyak kedai beside the teknik skool wan with afee,syfqah,dal and aini.ate horrible tasting curry mee tht tasted very horrible indeed.i colud have sworn that i saw a bettle's leg in the kuah like wtf.so after makan i balik skolah and tadaa!my screwed up fatters are already starting to show up!as soon as i passed thru the gate i saw bulat and kyob.i waved and yelled"KYOB!KYOB!"and then when i got closer i realized 'kyob' was actually lee LMFATAO.waaat she really looked like kyob from afar okay.bulat of courselah i wudnt mistaken her with anyone else since her frame is exactly like how they were on the first day i met her lol.whereas lee's tudung was like..lol i should really SHOW you how they really looked so ud REALLY get the picture.

its been almost a year since i last saw lee and when i saw her today she looked like
the pentagon buliding in the united states of america.now this is a very PRICELESS picture.
OH MY JAKUN BUNTUT.it's the shape of lee's tudung in building form if you tilt your head a bit to the right!CAN YOU FEEL THE BUILDINGHOOD OF LEE'S TUDUNG PPL?she is soo gonna whack me to death after this.

okay lol enough obsessing about lee's tudung ir she'll kill me for good(which im sure she already has the plan in mind but is likely to postpone it until out future skating trip).okay since im so kickass malas want to write some more ill show you pictures from today!a pcture is worth a thousand words anyway.

ill start with a very annoying noseless over-exposed picture of ME so as to annoy you since i have nothng better to haha.BE ANNOYED PEOPLE.
so now you are given two options:
1.if you are very annoyed and you feel like banging your head to the monitor,please scroll down for more annoying and head banging pictures.
2.if you are not annoyed yet,you are required to stare at the highly annoying noseless picture until you get really annoyed and feel like banging your head againts the monitor.if you have,you can now refer to no1.
and to think that THIS picture is worth a thousand words.
i thnk i could think whatt the first three words are,
1.annoying.
2.noseless.
3.annoying AND noseless.

so there!dont worry ppl the pctures after this wont be as annoying as the first one lol.

when i saw dy's socks i just went awwwwwwwwww.
our socks nak dekat sama!(we're avid soxworld's socks fan)see.this just proves that best friends share the same sock instincts.sorrylah ppl i just get so batak-ed most of time and ill snape lame pictures like this one.altho u may thnk its a lame picture but ill cherish it forever.oh and btw mine's the pink/black/white one.dy would NEVER wear anythng pink lol.and staring at this picture for three minutes made me realize that my left foot looks weird.its so..long oO

this picture was when lee had finally normalized her tudung back from it's pentagon-like state.
look how pretty she could be!*slaps own face for telling such big lies* haha lee was very happy because she just ate one whole rangka ayam and four benda 'cucuk-cucuk dan goreng'.and a few minutes before she was talking about thngs like,"there is like soo 500+ calories in this rangka ayam.its so oily!i wonder how many oil sources were dried to produce enough oil to fry this one rangka ayam"(exaggerating) and then she ate the rangka mercilessly!

look what happened to the rangka after lee was finished with it.sorry lol i forgot to take a before picture.i just have the after heh.
her rangka is in the plastik merah wan.i felt sorry for the poor rangka because this girl CAN REALLY EAT.hear her ROAR LMFATAO.

this is my favourite picture of the dayy





jeng jeng







more jeng jengs






jeng


















jeng















jengjengonjeng












haha i made u scroll down banyak-banyak haha.*wtf lame

so this is the very prized picture.














okay one last jeng jeng

















jeng jeng!













presenting,

dua ekor kambing rabies yang terlepas dari kandang kuarantin.ketiadaan lelehan air liur adalah disebabkan pundi liur mereka telah kering kerana proses perlelehan liur mereka berlaku dengan ekstrem sekali pada satu-satu tempoh masa.

kambing rabies aika:uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh.
kambing rabies dy:dheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

my sympathy goes to them.

so sudah habis gmbar eksklusif ill guess ill be showing u random pictures i took during the whole day.

random picture one.
lee sporting one of the moves from the orang asli's 'tarian asli agung'.she was supposed to say "hungga hungga!" repeatedly but was excused because of confidential reasons.

random picture two.
bulat,looking ready to transform into a wabbit.god knows what she was trying to say.fza on the other hand,was positively beaming while looking at *nudge nudge lee nudge nudge lee* you know who.

random picture three.
altho i still have my rabies traits in this picture,whotahell cares i like it!bcause it was taken with the two most loved persons in my life :)

random picture four.
and these are another two people!lol tyah thnks that the skewered squids are actually big giant ones.what a dumblonde HAHA.

random picture five.
I LOVE YOU WOMAN.she's one of the loved ones obviously.haha THE EXPRESSION HAHA.i just loooove pissing her off with pictures like this.

lee:A FART IS COMING.AND ITS GONNA BE A BIG ONE PEOPLE SO BRACE YOURSELVES!*mengekspressikan muka meneran kentut*

lol so i guess the fart pictures will wrap up this post.i dont know if im gonna post anymore after this.i thnk ill be dead in a few hours prior to lee's wrath.well,whts a better way to show ur friends that you love them other than posting goofy pictures of them on your blog riiiiteeee?*makes innocent please-dont-kill-me smile*

Monday, December 22, 2008

hoot

ohh ohh i cant wait for the c14's bbq on wednesday!ive been longing to see my friends for the past many months yo.oh god i rly miss them.and we're gonna spend one whole day together!yay me!

i just hope no gatecrashers will be present.those loathsome creatures.eurgh.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

ladida

its my 100th post!i am now an officially certified blogger lol.i sorta said to myself that ill have to reach a 100 posts before i can call myself a blogger.i know,lame.but thts just me :D

apologies for the lack of posts recently.ive just been rly rly tired working(yes ppl,i WORK!) and by the time i get home the only thng visible to me is my bed and the kitchen of course.a girls gotta eat ya know.

yes back to the working part.ive only started last week.im working wth daddy if u have to know.haha.supposedly office hourlah.but since he's the big guy and i have to go to work wth him or else i dont have any transportation,i usually go to work at 1130 and ill be back home by 530/6 lol.haha.an advantage when ur working wth ur dad.the salary is,okaylaahh.three figured.id just so totally die if he gives me a four figured salary lol.works been okay so far.ive been making invoices,filling ppl's claim form yada yada yada.u know the usual office works.i just currently discovered that my butt has the ability to get all cramped up if it has to sit on one place for 6-7 hours lol.everytime i bgun from my seat id be walking like a butt-crippled victim.oh the tortures of working.now i know how hard it is to cari sesuap nasi for the family.i feel your pain oh office workers!

and i have a new theory on brothers.they are nothing but a waste of space,flesh and,uh,bones(??).yeah i had a fight wth my brother(obviously wthout physical contact) and i hadnt talked to him in 5 days.this is the first time i had set my ego level to be this high heh.i know its very inappropriate to not talk to ur siblings for about a week but i just have had it with him!his mouth ah,seriously very laser.i secretly thnk its sharper than that thngy they use to fight in star wars.laser beam? laser sowrds?i did remember it has the laser word innit tho.uh,it does,does it?well yeah and thts why ive been pissed wth him for 5 whole days.everytime i see him ill just look somewhere else and act as if he's not there HAHAHA.padan muka kau abang jahat.hey dont blame me for being ego he's been ignoring me too okay.hah suka hati kau lah.tak heraaaann.and the fact that he rarely sleeps here doesnt rly help.fyi,my brother is married wth a 2 year old son.and hell he still acts like a bloody 5 year old.oh god id trade him for a thousand ringgit shopping voucher anytime.in conclusion,different sex-ed siblings CANNOT live together in harmony because both will suffer from the other's wrath.oh how i wished i was an only child.or at least wth a twin.a hot brother twin tht evryone oggles on.WOOOOOOTTSSSS!

ughh this dumb television is very noisy lah.*whacks meme's head wtha club for switching it on*

uhh i cant rly write,i mean,type in a very noisy atmosphere.so i guess ill end my post on the word photosynthesis.

PHOTOSYNTHESIS!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

sht

my oh-kami-sungguh-sekepala cousin,muaz has shown me a lot of stupid funny hilarious stuffs he found on the net.last night he showed me somethng that cud take home the prize bebeh.i seriously LAUGHED MY FATTING A$$ OFF while reading it.and i have no doubt that u will to lol.lee,if there was a topic given in spm that has somethng to wth this story and i wrote it,no doubt my english essay paper will be in the news lmao.

enjoy ppl!

behold,

Cell Phones Can Kill You.

All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers, and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my fiancee. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.

I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience:

0. Occupied.

1. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.

2. Poo on seat.

3. Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.

4. No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.

Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Sh1tter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.

I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Sh1tter was blathering to Mrs. Sh1tter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. AS the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.

Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared, I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.

Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:) 1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there were more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence. "Oh my God", I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough,gag), you could hear that (gag)??"

Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride.


Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and a splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.

There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard him flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know. I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

virtual

brace urself readers cause today is gonna be apost filled with pictures.haha

sorreh i didnt blog ysterday since i was so darn tired leh.ysterday was graduation day btw.and boy didnt it went well.i guess paying RM50 was worth it after all.

so i woke up at about 630 ysterday since amy was picking me up at 730.one hour to get ready okaylah right?im soo not like bqis who takes a whole two hours to ONLY apply her make up one lmao.so i was dumbing around on wht to wear and i finally decided to wear my baju saree(as we sisters call it).its not actually a saree.its just a baju kurung moden made wth the kain that was supposed to be made into saree(if u get wht i mean).mum bot the material in india and it was last year's baju raya.hehe.so i sudah siap2 sumeua and i waited about another 15mins until amy finally cam.(730 KONON.MORE LIKE 745.)and so we were on our way to segi!amy and blqis wasnt wearing a tudung haha like selamba badak gile.and then we went to register wth the teachers yada yada yada and then we went to some hall to have bfast.padel wasnt up yet and were dead worried tht he's not coming since he's our chaffeur or the day HAHA.the event was supposed to start at 8 and padel actually woke up AT EIGHT.and before we went to get our robes we waited for a few more minutes and there he was,looking smarter than usual.(HAHEHA)

so we went to resigter(again like duh there was so many registerings ysterday urgh) so tht we cud get our robes.and the robes were so elegant i tell you!it was black with gold borders(which looked like pure gold fuiyoh) and it was okaylah if you were wondering about the fititng.at first i took an XL robe and i looked like a stick wrapped in 6 yards of kain.sakai mann.haha.then i finally went for the L size and thnkyou god it looks okay on me.

here's a picture of how stupid we looked,

padel,amy,bqis,me,tasya,wieda and mel :)

i thnk i looked super stupid in ths picture.padel looked taller bcause knownable reasons HAHA.and blqis said wieda looked like someone who was going for hajj.oh god i love these people.
and then we went into the auditorium and the event started.sang nageraku bla bla bla yada yada yada ha ha ha.and then it was finally over.haha.after that we took a lot of pctures using god-knows-whose cameras.i mean,there wee like so many cameras and i didnt really whose camera was i posing for lol.we alos took a picture while jumping!im pretty sure this pcture was taken by mel's sister.we were high school musical wannabes for one whole day lol.ill post the jumping pcture later.

after a lot of pcture snapping we were finally feeling vereh tired and hungry and so we returned our robes and went for lunch(we refers to amy,padel and me je haha).when we sudah kenyang macam tak igt dunia we went to the curve pulak.again.haha.kelmarin dah pergi harini pergi lagi.since there wasnt much time left kami pergi kacau nek kerja dekat metrojaya.bila kami saw him,he was lipat-ing bajus.he worked in the childrens department and there were so many cute-as-hell bajus!oh god i want a baby O.O i thnk nek applied for the ladies department but since he looks so perverted he was given the children's instead lmao.and after jalan-jalan like org gile my feet rasa macam mahu putus dua since i was wearing this all day,

i know i know its not like i was wearing 10 inch stilettos but because im too used to wearing flats and ONLY flats i feel sudeh tak larat mahu hidup lah wearing this for one whole day.amy was wearing platform so like tak heran sgtlah hehe.i even walked barefooted for a few minutes and i was like londeh-ing my kain so nobody wud notice my bare feet.HAHA.after a while i feel so jijik jalan-jalan barefooted that i forced my aching feet into the stupid pair of heels(HELLS more like) and walked to the parking lot to finally GOOO HOOMEE.

so that was ysterday.hehe.
here are some random pictures from the past haha.
this picture was from the day before when we went bowling.far left:mine,nit's,bqis's and boys's.I TOLD YOU boy's shoes were hideous.HAHA.


these were the chocolate bars aunt bah bot back from far far away.haha.mine's the swiss one.ahh that remnids me i havent had my dose of chocolate today.*droooools minorly*

i dont rly know why im posting this pcture.haha.this was on the graduation's rehearsal day on friday.the bag's mine but the phone isnt mind you.im still stuck wth my dumb old 5300.sheessh.im coming for you supernova!


this picture has tot me one lesson in life.if you cant pucker,then DONT.cause ull end up looking like how i did in this pcture.even hideous doesnt match the picture.*hungs head in shame* and thts mel btw.my pervy partner :D

i really like this picture!because my favourite elephant mug is innit.hehe.this pcture was taken a few days ago when i was having tea wth tyah(mint tea.ahh refreshengg) in front of the house.the house in ths pcture is my argentinian neighbours's.be warned because their casual dress code is very censoring lmao.

this picture was one hell of a lama punye picture(not THAT lama lah.about a few months punya lama haha).i posted it because im currently craving for that soothing taste of choclate cream chip.*fantasizes sip* ahhhhhhh.the mug beside my yummy choclate cream chip is amy's.her's was some hazelnut shit that has the smell of leaking drain,SERIOUSLY.idk how she cud've drank it until habis O.O tabik amy!



this was how my study table looked during spm.semak like jebon i tell you.biasalah,since i didnt really have time to actually organize it.ITS SPM DUH.haha.and i left it like this for a few days after spm since i was too lazy to put my books in the store HEHA.i was sweating bagai seekor babun after i finished putting my books away from the damn table.

looks much tidier down dont cha think?hey i didnt just push the books down and snapped this pcture ok :P

this one shows just how much of a slob i can be.hehe.i had nasi lemak for lunch and the sotong was liat as hell and when i tried ripping it apart with my fork it just bounced of the plate and onto my lap.and voila!the bottom part of my top was covered in sambal.now im not really THAT confident on turning eighteen.

my backyard.literally.its annoying when ur backyard is rimba-ish because u get all sorts of VISITORS at night.and some were never before seen either.but the up side is that its verry cold and u rarely have to switch on the fan so jimat lah electricity!


well i thnk this hutan/backyard picture is enuf to wrap up this post.my hand s are aching from too much typing,CEH.hehe.until next time ppl.toodles.

Friday, December 12, 2008

durd

sometimes,i think im the only sane one in the family.my sisters are FAR from hitting Sane Ville and ditto wth my brother.if u put my parents aside laa haha.

tomorrows the graduation day.at segi college.and i have no idea wht to wear oO
i dont wanna wear the usual bju kurung.nmpk like,selekeh lah.a kebaya wud look to diva-ish.mel wants to wear the grad robe on top and nothing underneath.she's one of my sama-sama pervert friends btw xD

and lee's gone wth the wind.or should i say,THE ICE CREAM COMPANY.i hate herr for deserting me for four whole days!like who the hell will i talk to in ym?and share pctures?and and.(sorry lee i just cant thnk of anythng else we usually do HAHA)im gonna rot i tell you,ROOTT.

today got de jamuan kelas at pizzahut.and there was a lucky draw.my number got picked n i got a rm10 top up!woot-woot!boy dgn meor tak aci like hell okay.they both get two hadiahs.screw themm.well i wasnt rly expecting to get anythng bcause i am barely lucky during luckydraws.plus i thnk its stupid.(unless i get somethng laa hehehe)

after tht we went bowling at the curve.boys against girls.the boyr were leading wth almost 100 marks like swt -.-" i striked twice and half striked once.haha.i lah penyumbang kepada markah kumpulan kami.bqis was barely bowling.when it was her turn she wud just noncholantly roll(YESS PEOPLE,ROLL) the ball toward the white thngs.it wasnt really a bad tactic since she almost striked haha.nek was DE DEWA OF BOWLING.he striked practically every single time!
so ninit and blqis were both pissed at how the good the boys were that they decided to 'tolong' bowlingkan when the boys lmbat ambil bola for their turn.haha witchesss.at first i sucked also lah.waaaat it was my SECOND time bowling okay.the first time i did worse.haha.so boy tot me to,uh,straightkan tgn when u baling the ball and tadaaa!suddenly i sudah pandai wan.then i tot amy how to baling the ball tiba-tiba i jadi stupid kembali.heavy dumb balls.and the shoes were really hideous too.boy got the most hideous-est shoes bcause his feet were too big for the normal size ones.haha cacat-ed.

mum and da went to bandung ysterday and THEY LEFT ME HOME.i am so neglected.*wipes tear wth ysterday's shirt* they said nnt 'budak-budak' ikut jadi leceh and lambat.like heloo,I AM SO GOING ON EIGHT TEEN.im practically an adult!physically anyway.mentally i thnk im still 5 or 6 yrs old.*blinks innocently*

and aunt bah came back a few days ago.in case u didnt kno,she's my 49 year old aunt who lives somewhere near bratford ever since she graduated.she's a pedeatrician who specializes in x-rays or smthng.her comabck was highly anticipated by me bcause evrytime she comes back she'd give evryone their own marks and spencers big choclate bars!and id save it for half a year lol.hey bukan senang mau dpt imported choclate flown from uk via a close relative ok.*chocolate snob*

oh i nearly forgot.amy went to ou ysterday and she bot me this gorgeous forever 21 dress.its brown wth sort of huge buttons at the front.i loooooooooooooooved it.thnkyou my :)

oh god its so so so boring kill kill die die punya tahap to stay at home all day and do nthg.suddenly i rasa like i wanna study bio.HAHAHA.konon rajin.but seriously.boring tahap ganja laahh ppl.my outings are restricted summore.aiyoo.so i thnk next monday ill work wth daddt at his companeh.jadi office girl.(HAHA KOPI PUN TAK TAHU BANCUH BUDAK NI) or just simply jalan-jalan and get to know the staff.and since most of them are foreigners i guess i wont be talking in malay.eeeekk frankly i dont really like hearing myself speak english.id stutter like hell and sound so like kampung.(saya bukan mahu offend org-org kmpung haa) hish i just cant imagine myself pursuing my tertiary education.klip-klip im all grown up and ready to get married.HEHAHE.

ok stop stop before i go and ramble about my female intuitions.haha.geli-geli sungguh.

ah i wanna start work.if i dont start next week u cyber slap me lah people.*makes nyah nyah face*

ok mahu prgi find smthng to eat.until bila-bila i rajin nak update,babai.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

tut

i think ill write about something different today.

about how i miss my tuition lol.okay okay i know usually after spm its like,a must for ppl to write about how they miss school,the teachers,the friends yada yada yada.but hey,why not write about how you miss ur tuition?

so here goes,
good i just miss going to perfection.lepaking at starbucks(skali je pun slalu dekat old town je haha) for an hour before tuition starts.i miss chatting with k.dora about this and that.about skank mostly.haha.i miss christopher!oh god i REALLY REALLY MISS math class cos thts where he's in lol.his body language n fashion sense makes you thnk, "is this guy REALLY married wth 3 childresn?" dude like seriously,most of my friends call him nyah lol.except me lah,i very the good budak.

then i miss ben!oh benny baybeh*drools addmath questions*.benjamin koh.he's the addmath teachers but he looks like he can easily be an underwear model lmao.he is THAT hot i tell you.thts why i can never pass my addmaths.i cant bloody concentrate when a hot dude is teaching!*bangs head to wall* i wonder how amy can ace her addmath when she's always too busy ogling at his tushy xD

and mr.zeelan,the chemistry teacher.mann he was very strict when he teaches but fatting funny ok.but of courselah cannot lawan eswaran*walks slowly past memory lane*

aaaaahhh i just miss tuition!evvrytime i drove by perfection id always stare longingly.I.WANT.PERFECTION.i mean,i wanna go back to perfection!darrnn i just miss life back when i was a fifth former.the life of a school leaver sucks real bad i tell you.so u juniors better make the best of wht u have while ur still schooling.and please dont say "omg i cant wait for school to finishh!" cos ull REALLY be regretting it later.i know i did.*sighs*

can i go to school for just one more year?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

brooke

i is very the boredom now.so she thinks i are will talks into a broking English.

helloed,she name are aika.her is seventeen year old and i just finishing she exam.so now i are very the has nothing to did and her am so is the boring becaused i is havent has a book she can a reading.i are thinked her wanting a twilight saga!but i is dont tell my mother yet.so she wanted bought book when?i is so want to read.*sighs*

p/s:i never knew it was so hard to type like that. oO

Monday, December 8, 2008

smile?

sorry for the absence ppl(esp u lee.LOL).ive been real busy these past few days.going here,going there,going everywhere.us busy ppl hardly have time for ourselves*makes important politician face*
ouh well,heres an update anyway :D

to doh(the somebody who msg-ed me thru the cbox.since the stupid box wasnt working i guess id be answering ur curiosity here),
yes,i admit i had once put 'im taken' on my myspace before.but please do ur homework first before simply pointing fingers and blaming ppl for the wrongs they didnt do.are u implying tht i cudnt even TRY to chnge for the better?yes ppl make mistakes.i had once been in the darkside and i realize wht i had done so i vowed to chnge and be a better muslimah for my sake and for the ppl i love.forgive me if ur just asking bcause i am starting to be emotional here.to simply take something from the past and shove it in my face is certainly NOT a very good thng to do since i can get REALLY REALLY cranky when ppl do tht.like,helooo IM TRYING TO CHANGE HERE?but unfortunately ur not even encouraging me to do so.unless u count asking offensive questions as an act of encouragement,idk la.but still,when i read ur question i feel a surge of madness inside of me.i keep wondering wht is ur purpose of asking such degrading question.and then a thought came into my mind.perhaps you were thinking tht i am hyprocital?tht i was once a 'budak gedik' and suddenly im writing nice thngs on my blog?to make matters clear,id like to inform u tht im on a journey to make up for the bad thngs which i may have done before.as a human,it is common knowledge tht i could not run from making mistakes be it big or small.its human nature to do so.and please dont misunderstood me,im not saying tht its okay to make these mistakes but im just stating tht ppl DO make mistakes so tht they can look back and say,"what have i done?" and repent to Allah The Almighty for their wrong doings.dear doh,im not trying to start a fight with u or anything in that league.im just trying to clear the mist tht has formed in ur mind regarding wht i hve wrote in my myspace earlier.im sorry if my answer has offended u in anyway becuse i assure u tht i had no intentions of doing so.and by asking this question u have made me realize tht wht ppl do in the past will always be talked over and over again by,uh,other ppl.and this makes me more determined to not screw thngs up in the future.as i have said before im just a normal human being.and pardon me if i hve in anyway,hurt ur feelings or dishevel ur mind.

i hope u find this answer satisfying enough and if u wud like to clarify further matters u can do so by asking me in my cbox as u had done before.ur questions are very much appreciated,thnk you :)

Friday, December 5, 2008

EC

frankly,i think everyone is soo exaggerating on robert pattison's level of attractiveness.he is so not THAT hot.he's too square jawed for my taste lol.so yeah.

eeekk

i had a nightmare when i slept after subuh this morning.

figures,I SLEPT AFTER SUBUH THIS MORNING.i always always have bad dreams when i do so.but its so hard not to continue sleeping after subuh prayers laaah.
tips anyone?

yeah so the,uh,morningmare.
it was so damn scary i tell u.its about a big hugeee humoungous crocodile who was chasing me everywhere!the background of this dream is at my mother's side of the kmpung in perak.its very,uh,kampung-ish la.with the papan house n everything.at the start of the nightmare i was sort of jungle tracking with the villagers in the middle of the night(??).then suddenly we heard a,uh,dumb sound and we saw this big croc and of courselah we ran for our lives.we were taking refugee at the verandah of my late granma's house when we saw the croc whizzing by in a boat(??).weirdly enough he was,uh rowing(???).i know,freaky ainnit?at tht time i was sitting wth some boy(not a hottie disappointingly ) who was about 10/11 yrs old n strangely enough i think he's supposed to my cousin whom i was protecting form the,uh,giant croc.i think he just lost his little sister to the cros because she fell down and the croc ate her(??)yeah n there i was consoling him when the croc suddenly whizzed by and then we were all static because we didn't want the croc to notice us.but then this boy/cousin of mine lifted his arms in the air for no damn reason and LUCKY!the croc spotted us and like,woahh man he just poked his big stupid head thru the papan wall!we were all like,really freaked out and we went scurrying like headless chickens.i felt the fear oO then i sort of lost my boy/cousin and i think he got eaten too.poor guy.well then there i was,ALONE,suddenly looking disheveled and being alert of the croc.come to think of it,i think the croc ate everyone back in the house.i guess i didn't return to the house because i was freaked out of the croc's constant head poking on the walls lol.okay back to the story,uh,dream.and then somehow i got hold of a metal spear(??) and i think i was supposed to kill the croc with it.the croc was chasing me in bloody zigzag and i was running backwards(??).and the croc freakishly has a spear too.but his was a wooden one HAHA.then i fell while running backwards and the croc was like closing in on me when i suddenly reached for a sharp rock and stabbed his brains with it.(why didn't i just use the bloody spear??) and i fell asleep on one of the logs there.when i woke up,it was a beautiful morning and i was still on the log when kevin federline(wtf) appeared and congratulated me for killing the crocodiles.he gave me my babies(??) back.(they were blond weird enough) and i remembered feeling so happy and hugging them tightly and sort of floating above the scary lake i guess when i saw k-fed meta morphed into the big dumb croc and he was drowning me and my babies!i woke up after that because i forced myself to.i know that i was dreaming but i just didn't wanna see the gory ending i guess.so yeah,i woke up.

and i vowed to myself that i am NEVER sleeping after subuh again.but i'll need help on this one -.- "

Thursday, December 4, 2008

tagII



well since i got tagged i guess i just had to do this.and i mean tag another 5 ppl lol.
uh i tag,

.Lee
.Wany
.Qis
.Inez :D
.Dy

happy tagging other ppl then.teehee.

tag

i got tagged by wany and qis.the,uh,best blog award?lol i don't rly think my blog is all that.but if u thnk tht my daily rambles are a-listed then,i simply wont argue :D

isolated

i am officially being isolated.in my own house.EVERY SINGLE DAY my parents go out and i was left to fend for myself!where is the fairness in this?its nearly 5 o'clock and i hadn't even had my lunch yet mainly because THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO EAT and NOBODY bothered TO CALL and ASK if i wanted THEM to buy anything for me to eat so that ill continue staying ALIVE on their way back from god-knows-where.

spm is over and im suddenly being left alone.CHILD CARE SERVICE,u got a serious case of neglection here.

DO NOT tell me to look on the brightside.there is no brightside in cases of child abuse.there are only mental,physical and emotional tortures*wails loudly*.if my parents dont bring bak anythng to eat i am seriously going on a hunger strike.

hear the voice of your hungry and abused child!
*yanks own hair and drops dead*

p/s:this post was an example of how much of a drama queen i can be and how i just loove exaggerating.so please note tht im not rly abused lol.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

slob

geez i just get so freaked with those,uh,loving couples i see in myspace.like,huh?half of those girls hadn't even had their periods yet and they're groping boys here and there.have some self respect will you.if youre not gonna respect urself then who will ah.

wht i get most geli-fied wth;

  • the NAME CALLINGS.no,pet name callings.like,bb,cyg,ucuk2,adik,manje,shenta(WTF PPL?).i can undoubtly puke if my eyes just happened to set itself on one of those words mentioned above.yeurgh.
  • and god,the DEVOTION.this is getting out of control.do you like,HAVE TO have ur bf/gf's picture as your page's BACKGROUND?i dont call tht love.i call that being DISGUSTINGLY UBER OBSESSED.yeaahhh.
  • the ANNOUNCEMENT.yea the way they have the word "im taken." plastered all over their pictures.wha..?hello ur obvi doing the wrong thing and ur PROUD of it?ppl,get a life.cos u are seriously in need of one.
  • the WARNINGS.they way they write thngs like,"he's mine!back off bitches!" and "die kite punye.jgn amek die dri kite!" OHMYGOOOOOOODDD.ur not even engaged for heaven's sake!so stop being so (oh i know you are) clingy.
  • the COMMENTS.this,i cannot read.theyre full of "i syg u i syg u." oh god im so yucky-fied i dont even wanna say anythng anymore.if u have brains,u wud know wht right is from wrong.u wud know wht u can do or wht ur not allowed to do duh.
that is,if you HAVE brains.

dont be judgemental.this post doesnt mean tht im being discriminative against couples.wait.yeah i thnk i am lol.just got confused a bit.AIKA IS VERY DISCIMINATIVE AGAINST YUCKISH AND GELI-FIED COUPLES.so make sure you dont cross her sight ok?*does the friendly but-if-you-screw-me-ill-screw-u-bak-REAL-BAD smile*

all in all,
apa salahnya jalan sorang kan?

screams shrieks

*screams like theres no tomorrow*

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG*hyperventilates like theres no tomorrow*

FINALLY BABY FINALLY,
the confession of a shopaholic is being made into a MOVIE!!*shrieks like theres no tomorrow*
i was surfing sophie kinsella's website when suddenly i saw it,THE TRAILER.
and i spent almost 10 minutes gaping at it with my mouth hung open.like dooood this is such a dream come true!
ive been waiting for my favourite book series to be made into movies and TADAAAA!the first ones out!movie-ized.im so happy i cud cry.*sheds dramatic tear*

here it is ppl,*shrieks like,oh sod just forget it*



ALL HAIL SOPHIE KINSELLA!
now i can die peacefully lol.

eih

im in a dilemma(to make it sound more important than it actually is),
i wanna chnge my blogskin but while i was browsing thru all the blogskins available in blogskins.com,i realized tht all the blogskins there were like,gay.REALLY gay.and plus i sort of rly rly looove my current blogskin.but the problem is tht i thnk im getting tired of it -.- "

solutions anyone?

lawful

if i were asked to propose one law to the state,it wud be

to have underwear models wear underwear all the time and the same goes to swimsuit models,winter wear models,summer wear models.HAHAHA.now that wud be hilarious lol.

in case you forgot,

4 golongan men yang ditarik oleh women to hell:


PERTAMA - AYAHNYA
Apabila seseorang yang bergelar ayah tidak memperdulikan anak-
anak perempuannya di dunia. Dia tidak memberikan segala keperluan agama seperti mengajar solat, mengaji & sebagainya. Dia memperbiarkan anak-anak perempuannya tidak menutup aurat, tidak cukup kalau dengan hanya memberi kemewahan dunia sahaja maka dia akan ditarik oleh anaknya.


KEDUA - SUAMINYA
Apabila sang suami tidak memperdulikan tindak tanduk isterinya. Bergaul bebas di pejabat, memperhiaskan diri bukan untuk suami tapi untuk pandangan kaum lelaki yang bukan mahram. Apabila suami mendiam diri walaupun dia seorang alim seperti solat tidak tangguh, puasa tidak tinggal maka dia akan ditarik oleh isterinya.


KETIGA ABANG-ABANGNYA
Apabila ayahnya sudah tiada, tanggungjawab menjaga maruah wanita jatuh ke pundak abang-abangnya. Jikalau mereka hanya mementingkan keluarganya sahaja dan adik perempuannya dibiar melencong dari ajaran ISLAM, tunggulah tarikan adiknya di akhirat kelak.


KEEMPAT - ANAK LELAKINYA
Apabila seorang anak tidak menasihati seorang ibu perihal kelakuan yang haram dari Islam, bila ibu membuat kemungkaran pengumpat, mengata & sebagainya maka anak itu akan disoal dan dipertangungjawabkan di akhirat kelak, nantikanlah tarikan ibunya.


i got this from ayman yazid's blog.altho i dont thnk he knows tht i exist lol.but still,it has a really deep meaning bebeh.read and learn from it :]

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

THIS IS SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS-ER than the vid before.Indonesian idol anyone? :D



i bet u laughed ur guts out HAHA.

dead bird

i seriously ROLLED ON FLOOR LAUGHING when i saw this vid.u HAVE to see it.or u shant live a another day lol.
SEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEET.

i just finished watching simpsons the movie.
and bloody hell,

I LAUGHED ALL THE WAY BAYBEH.

excuse moi for what,overreacting?but it was damndamnberdarah funny ler.homer is hilarious.but apart from the humour(homer?haha) there were,surprisingly,moral values to be learned lol.
like,uh,dont be selfish,always put ur family before urself yada yada yada *yawns*
but overall it was a kickass movie :D (i feel as if im doing a review for transporter 3.wtf)

sigh.suddenly i feel like having one of those penang's mamak's kaya bun.yeah the freshly made ones.the ones you can only get by stopping the bread vendor in the middle of the road(or when he passes by ur house) and saying, "saya mau roti kaya,bun.saya mau satu saja roti kaya,bun." oh god im reminiscing the taste right noww. *drools kaya*

i miss going back to penang.i miss having my dinner in padang kota.i miss watching the sea(theres like a sea-wtching platform nearby padang kota) at night.i miss spending my raya there.i miss sleeping in one big room with my noisy cousins.i just miss penang :|

Monday, December 1, 2008

omg

omg.meme got her first paycheck today and guess what she just did?
she gave me a,

like,WOAHHHH baybeeee.

man made vjjs?

so i was chatting wth lee on ym and then suddenly our discussion topic drifted into chris crocker(u kno who heshe is),lee's lifelong idol lmao.our convo went somethng like this,

sweet_angora57: chris crocker's brthday coming
sweet_angora57: dont u wanna buy himher a prezzie?
sweet_angora57: lmao
stoken_kasot: do u know..
stoken_kasot: umm..
sweet_angora57: wha?
stoken_kasot: he had a sex change
stoken_kasot: i feel terrible
stoken_kasot: broken hearted
sweet_angora57: duh,yeahh obviously he had a sex chnge
stoken_kasot: now he would never marry me!!
sweet_angora57: i tot u knew tht oO
stoken_kasot: he just had it
sweet_angora57: WHAT?
stoken_kasot: yeah
sweet_angora57: he gives me the creeps
sweet_angora57: NO OFFENCE oh chris crockers biggest fan
stoken_kasot: lol shutup
sweet_angora57: so he has like,a vgina now?
sweet_angora57: *ewwww-ER*
stoken_kasot: yea
stoken_kasot: a man-made's
stoken_kasot: euw
sweet_angora57: DOUBLEEE EWWWWWWWWWW-ER
sweet_angora57: i wonder wht..
sweet_angora57: oh nvrmind

note,i was the orange one n lee was the green one.

and so since i have nthng better to do,i googled it up lol.

search:MAN MADE VAGINAS
and i saw pctures or real vjjs like EWWWW

but wht made me lugh was this transgender song i found,

You don't know what you want to be
Trapped in a body that isn't free
Change your exterior
What will you be
Male or female you will see

You're gonna get some surgery
Make you into a human freak
Pick your organs off the shelf
You wish you could fuck yourself

Preen in the mirror you twisted soul
Fashion your cock to a freakish hole
Discussed with your human form
Deviation from the norm

Your gonna get some surgery
Turn you into a human freak
Pick your organs off the shelf
You wish you could fuck yourself
In your man-made vagina

Terror within a mental shell
Hate your own persona
Bankrupted cravings of sin
Freakshow in human skin
Corrupted by science

Corrupted by science

Panhandle money for your new skin
Become what you have always craved
Saving up await the time
Butcher your grotesque pantomine

Now your going under the knife
Mutilate your body to change your life
Bruised and pained smiling gleefully
Is it all what you want it to be
You have a man-made vagina

doood seriously,LMAO.

Ts

goood i just cant help but hyperventilate when i saw taylor swift's new single's videoclip.it features mileys' bf yo.ze very ze hot justin gaston.i was smiling like a maniac thruout the clip.he is so totalleh like SUPERPANASSSS.
*drools hyperly*

i cant put the vid here since the embedding was disabled but i do have the url,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SboDTd-AFO0

do watch ppl.ull find urself smiling lunatically like i did too :D

Sunday, November 30, 2008

*sucking noise*

eww im having THE flu.
the constant dripping of mucus from my nasal cavity is just so terribly horrifying and disgusting.
i have to have a tissue by my side at every time and if im so desperate ill just wipe em on my shirt(self hygiene,where have you gone?).
and my head is hot and spinning but still,im blogging.
now thts one true blogger eh?hehe.

a flu song(flu nursery rhyme?) by me:

flu flu go away
come back another day
this girl here wants to enjoy
she's very irritated and annoyed.

flu flu dont come back
or else she'll have her nasal stabbed
the constant dripping is just so gross
and tht makes this girl here very crossed.

muahaha.i soo have a flair for poetrehh xD

a LOL letter

okay this looks rly fun :D

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your blog).

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___.


Loves;
-Your name-

P/S: You are so lifeless, ___13___, -The name of the person that tagged you-.



1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia- Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family


13. What is your favorite activities when hanging out with mates?
Gathering for drinks - Ugly pig
Foosball - Silly duck
Shopping - French kisser
Dulging for food - Cranky banana
Movies - Smelly armpits
Snacks - Horny wolf
Snooker - Tiny nipples
Bowling - Sexy grandmother
Outdoor activities - Vain pot
Having a long talk - Nose plucker
Taking pictures - Dumb bitch
Other - Burn yourself


Conclusion:


Dear Lee ,


I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on donald duck. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that we're cousins. I'm returning your love letters to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked oprah winfrey imitations. In pain.


Loves;
Aika


P/S: You are so lifeless , dumb bitch i tagged myself lol.

so yeah it was a very,uh,interesting letter.not to mention a sprint of gayness lol.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

of birthdays

woahh so tried liao.i just came back from the park.
MEOR'S BREAKFAST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!lol
we were supposed to do it in tht nice scenery-ed ttdi park.
but then there were like so damn many ppl lah.
so we cancelled and went to sksyen 9's park instead.

unbelievably i woke up at 6 today.
and spent half an hour calling padel to wake him up since he wud be the one who was gonna drive us around.i thnk i made about 40 misscalls when he finally picked up the phone.

padel:haaa.
me:bgonlaaaaaa.
padel:yeee.
me:bye.

simple,yet effective.he was in front of my house in 5minutes flat lmao.
both of us were the only ones who havent showered yet.
moky,ninit,boy,nek n meor were vry well,uh,groomoed.
i thnk i cud not make it more obvious tht i was forced out of bed lol.
with the khakis and the hoodies n the ive-just-woke-up-and-i-havent-washed-my-face-yet-laahh look.well,yeah.

ninit made sandwiches,moky baked brownies(delicous ones too),boy bought the cake,padel's in chrge of the beverage n i was in chrge of the cutleries since evrybody know tht i cant even go near the kitchen.alergies :D

n then we played 'baling-baling tepung'!
and the boys ended up looking like old men bcause of the white hair.
i didnt wana get involved at first.
but the padel ran after me and smoothered me in flour.swt -.-"
and this legacy was continued by meor,boy and nek.
i looked..lunatic.
we all did lol.thnk god there wasnt many ppl at the park.
after the flour craze we lighted some firecrackers!
but they were all uh,silent firecrackers so we warent much of a nuisance to the public.hehehe.

and after a very tiring morning we headed home.
but it was worth it yo,seeing tht everlasting smile on meor's face makes us happy tht our planning efforts and money warent wasted.
ill update pictures later if i get them from nek.he's so picture stingy lol.

and one last shout out,

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY MEOR!
i know you wont be reading this but happy brthday anyway xD


the next tepung attack event:NINIT'S BITHDAY!
looking forward to it alreadehh.hehe

Friday, November 28, 2008

love,not like

omg i just sososooo love T.I's whatever you like videoclip.i just realized how hot he is.well,obviously in his own way.that videoclip is just soo sexeh lamo.

so here it is,




i was right wasnt i? ;]

ahem

its 1pm and i just woke up.ngaha.see how bored i was?
i first woke up at nine and there i lay rolling around on my bed thinking,"if i wake up now what the hell am i going to do?" so yeah,i slept back for about 4 hours.

my hand is still aching from playing icehockey yesterday.
at first i played with ninit,damnn she was good.
then i played with amy and i WON!(makes proud face)
then i played with ainie again and i won!three cheers for sweet revenge baby.(makes prouder face)
and then i realized that my right hand is starting to limp lol.
so i stopped playing and went marayau-ing around that floor alone.
partly because im tired and sort of not in the mood and i feel sticky and sweaty since ive been wearing the school uniform from 10 yo.(it WAS the last day of school so we sort of vowed that we wont take our uniforms off until 12am lol)

so that sums up yesterday.

i need to fullfill my shopping needs.
but i dontkno when.
amyyyy lets go shoppeeenggg.
or lee,care to join me? :D

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

dude,seriously

i get disgusted with people who have those big hugee cameras n say "photography has always been my passion" when in real life they dont even know how to take pctures wth the broing old so and so cameras.BIGTIME SICKHEADS.

hey im not insulting nor offending anybody okay.i know there are real ppl out there wth real passion for photography.but if ur only indulging in this field for the sake of looking glamorous and bcause u can afford to buy those larger than life cameras,then please go shoot urself wth an m16 lah,seriously.

in myspace i see a lot of ppl who claim that theyre profesional photographers and all tht shit but the only picture they take are boring-and-bloody-hell-dont-they-look-ordinary pictures.if u wanna be real photographers go masuk some course lah rather than randomly taking nature inspired craps which you call ART.

duh ppl,dont u have like,BRAINS?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

yarr

this.is.killing.meee

i blardy have nthg to do.*shrieks*

brr just let me bable mindlessly here then,

my legs are itchy.like rly30000000x itchy.
ninit moky n bolat !@#$% my !@# last week and since im not used to it YET(haha) ive been having itch attacks almost every minute of the day.
yes people,beauty IS pain.

and talking about beauty,


*SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
this is seriously one of the most beautiful pictures produced in atnm.
(besides caridee's lipstick ad ngehe)
I WANT THAT HAIR.like pronto.
her skin(idk if its airbrushed or smthng ok),her eyes,her nose,her lips.
she could easily be a heaven sent angel.
(drools in awesomeness)

I.LOVE.MCKEY.
& im still straight ppl.

moving on,
oh yeahh i almost forgot to tell
the choice of essays in the english paper was AWESOMAZING dood
thres even an essay on 'Your Perfect Future Husband/Wife."
like,whaaa..?

of course lah i did tht one.(makes perverted face)
wht?
ok i know im vry de gatal and evrythng but tht topic is a must write laaaah.

glimpses of thngs tht i wrote;

my future husband has to be:-

-tall,dark and mysterious.(wtf)
-hellova good lookin.(HUNK BABY HUNK)
-financially supportive of my shopping disorder.(c est vry de importante)
-caring generous yaddaa yadaa yaddaaa

oh hot dude whom my name is metaphorically engraved on your forehead,
when will we meet?

crap.

finally

finally,FINALLY.
its over.over and soooo over.

SPM SUDAH HABIS LAH PPL YEHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

god i am soo relieved.finally after all those years of hardwork.yeah ELEHVEN yrs of hard work.im not a school girl anymore!
bye2 school.
bye2 teachers.
bye2 ckgu kamar(ill miss you HAHA)

yeaa its sort of sad lah leaving school.
no more bju putih&kain biru(turquoise?)
no more hanging out together during recess.
no more slacking off in class.
no more school lepaking at the front wth syawal,arif etc etc.
no more..school life.
*tearful*

ah lets just focus on the brigtside shall we.
NO MORE HOMEWORKS,NO MORE BOOKS!
NO MORE TEACHERS DIRRTY LOOKS!

and of course im already fully booked for these 3 months.
haha.
shopping movie sleep sleep sleepover movie movie eat shop and the list goes on and ooonnn.

ill be updating more often now tht no books are interfering wth our love bloggeh.
sweet sweet life.
youre sooo here.