Rrrrrrumah

Esok exam computer at 9 am dekat MPN Hall. Aku tak start belaja pun lagi. Harini takde mood betul nak belaja. Sebab hari jumaat kan. Tengok semue orang angkut beg kelua dorm, turun bawah tunggu teksi nak pegi KTM. Takpun mak bapak datang amek. Rasa macam nak raya dah(??)

Hhagahaghagahga padahal esok aku balik kan YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSS AKHIRNYA SETELAH NAK DEKAT TIGA MINGGU AKU TAK PULANG KE PANGKAL JALAN! Rindu gila dua-dua ahmad dekat rumah tu can't wait to see theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmm :D

Lagi satu reason sebab sangat excited nak balik rumah ialah because I want to be there when Ayah is given his new phone!

Disebabkan handphone lama Ayah sudah tersangat parah iaitu bila orang call memang tak dengar etc etc, maka kami adik-beradik memutuskan (sebenanye Mak yang suruh hagahgaga) untuk membeli handphone baru kepada Ayah as a birthday gift! So haritu dapat msg dari Lin suruh masuk RM110 dalam account dia sebab phone tu RM660 so sorang kena bagi RM110 huu aku baru je dapat scholar time tu huu T_T

Tapi lepastu teringat akan Ayah yang sangat baik selalu masukkan duti bila aku dah takda duit tanpa berkira satu sen pun dan otometik aku mengeji diri sendiri sebab separa berkira nak sumbang RM110 untuk beli handphone dekat Ayah. Anak apa aku ni RM110 je pon nak kecohhh hish.

For you Ayah, I would spend my whole RM1000++ scholarship :D

Cehceh pegi spend smua duit scholarship kau untuk Ayah tengok sanggup ke taaak hahahahahgahagahga ok serious anak tak guna aku ni ._.

Tak sabar gila nak sampai rumah esok rindu rumah rindu bumbung rumah rindu pintu rumah rindu tangga rumah rindu meja makan kat rumah rindu jamban rumah tapi yang paling rindu sekali mestila orang-orang kat rumah tu :)

MAK ESOK MASAK NASIK KERABU DENGAN DAGING BAKAR DENGAN BUDU BOLEH THANKS EH MAK LOVE YOU MUAH XOXOXOXOXOXOXO.

I wanna go hooowwwwwmmmmm

Me: Salam Yah. I miss you :)

Ayah: We miss you already and we keep talking about you.

I ♥ my mum and dad.

Subsequently,

I like him.

No you don't.

Yes I do.

How do you know you like him?

I..don't know. I just do.

You can't just like someone like that. There has to be a reason.

Why must there be a reason for everything? Why can't I just like him?

Because everything happens for a reason. There is a reason for everything.

What if I say I don't know why I like him?

Then it means that you don't like him. He's just a normal crush.

No he's not. I wanna spend my whole life with him.

Yet you don't know why you like him?

I told you. I don't need a reason to like him. You can't explain love. It just happens.

No it doesn't. You love someone reasonably. For example, because he's good looking.

He is good looking I suppose.

So you're after him for his looks?

No I'm not.

So then what? His money?

No. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't go after people just because they're good looking and they have money.

Oh really?

Yes.

Why, then? why are you so into him? I can't see whats so inviting.

That's because you don't feel for him like I do.

So I have to like him first and then I'll know why you're so into him?

It doesn't work like that.

How does it work then?

I just..like him. End of story.

No it's not the end of the damn story. Why huh?

I DON'T KNOW OKAY? I DON'T KNOW.

How can you like someone without knowing why you like them?

Like I said, love happens.

You've never even met him.

So?

So it's impossible to like somebody without meeting them first.

Says who?

Everybody knows that.

No they don't. You know why? Because they've never experienced this kind of feeling. The kind of feeling that can make you just sit and think about him all day long. Even without a picture. Yes, especially without a picture.

What does a picture have to do with this?

Isn't it an acceptable social norm to look at your significant others photo whenever you miss them?

Yeah, so?

So I'm saying that, that's not the kind of feeling that I have for him. I'm not chasing him for the looks. I just.. like him.

You're not making sense.

That's because people like you just don't get people like me. You and your unthinkable logic. Why is it that there has to be a reason for everything? Is it abnormal for things just to happen?

Like what?  Babies that 'just happened' to be delivered by their mothers?

That's not my point.

THEN WHAT IS?

What I'm saying is, that sometimes, you just kind of fall into things without meaning to do so. You didn't plan for it to happen. It just..did.

Like unplanned pregnancies?

NO YOU DUPE! LIKE LOVE! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

You're pathetic. All you think about is love.

So what if I do?

There is more to life than love. You're acting as if love is the only thing that makes the world go around. Love is just something minor that happen a few times in your life. It's nothing important.

So that's your view on love?

Well, not really. But-

No wonder you don't get the message that I've been trying to convey to you all this time. You perceive love as something invaluable. Something that comes and goes. Something that doesn't last. Something you do not see the worth of.

That's absurd.

No that's not. That's exactly how you look at love.

No it's not. I'm just trying to say tha-

What? What exactly are you trying to say?

Why are we talking about this anyway? As I can recall, we were talking about your so-called significant other before you starts garbling.

He is not my significant other?

Oh? I thought you liked him?

Liking him doesn't make him my significant other.

And how does it do that?

Well, umm..he..doesn't kno-

HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT YOU LIKE HIM?

You don't have to shout.

Holy cow! I though you two were an item already! The way you kept talking about all that liking people for no reason and all the other shits.

I don't want us to be an item.

Then WHAT do you want to be?

I..well, umm..

This is absurd.

NO IT'S NOT! I just don't wanna start it in a wrong way okay?!

What wrong way?

The 'being an item' way.

How is that wrong?

Oh don't give me that 'how is that wrong' shit. You KNOW it's wrong.

I do, but-

But what huh? But because all the other people are doing it you're automatically given the divine blessing to do the same thing too? You people are so screwed up. Love is not something cheap you lunge around to every boy you can find. Love is something sacred. Something that you give with all your heart to that person you love.

You think, like my grandmother. "Love is scared. yada yada yada." Boring shit. Who the hell cares whether love is sacred or not. The important thing is to have fun. You only live once after all.

You think like a 3 year old. No, make that a 3 MONTH old.

I don't get you. Why don't you just do what everybody is doing? Get together and have fun!

I happen to be the kind of person who sticks to her principles.

So? Rules are meant to be broken. That applies to principles too.

No it doesn't.

Yes it does.

If you don's have any life principles you'd be screwed.

Whatever.

I think I don't have any other things to say to you.

You still haven't told me why you like him.

Can you stop with that already?

I'll keep nagging you.

I don't care. I'm not telling you something I don't know. But I'll tell you this, Love is not something you can put into a list.

Yes you can.

How?

Like, you love him because he's tall, dark, sexy, handsome, macho, debonair, per-

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Here's the catch,

I will tell you I like you only and ONLY IF somebody can guarantee that the feeling is mutual between us.

We clear?

~

I can be the sweet tooth, You can be the dentist.

Everybody knows firebomb

Taj jadi balik rumah minggu ni. Lupa pulak exam BTQ aku hari ahad. Sigh. On top of that, esaimen tak boleh nak banyak lagi. Tapi aku kan procrastinator hebat. Jadi tak tak buat lagi. Hahahahahaha. Ok lah grammar aku dah buat separuh. Esaimen grammar yang paling comel. Kene cari 10 words from articles ke buku ke ape yang korang tak tahu and then cari definition dalam dictionary and buat ayat sendiri daripada perkataan tu. Comel kan kan kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann.

Esaimen CCT plaing tak comel sebab kene buat sampai 10 pages. Nasib baik double spacing. Kalau tak mati kejang aku tengah jalan. Hahahahahahaha.

Lagu ni dengan ni bes gila btw. Harini je dah dekat 56 kali aku dengar. Aku memang jenis kalau suka satu lagu tu kan, aku dengar 642818353 kali sampai dah muak gila lepastu aku tak dengar dah. Hohoho. Alah aku rasa memang most people macamtu pon kan. Kalau dah best tu memang nak dengar banyak-banyak kali bagi puas.

Dalam MP3 Saleemah banyak gile lagu bes yang tak klua radio lagi. Hairan aku mane die dapat lagu tu semue. Adakah saleemah secretly ade kawan di US yang kerja dekat Virgin Records ke ape? HAHAHA.

Berbalik kepada topik banyak esaimen, mari tengok kerja-kerja yang aku kena buat;

1. Esaimen Grammar yang comel.

2. Esaimen CCT yang tak berapa nak comel sebab kena compare barriers dalam buku Bassham dengan buku sapa eh? Err, Jamal Abdul kot nama orang tu.

3. Esaimen Drama aka Term Paper yang rasanya macam tak comel tapi taktahu sebab tak dapat full description lagi. Tapi yang ni rasenye kene compare jugak kot. Compare characters dalam The Brute and Death of A Salesman.


DEATH OF A SALESMAN TU PANJANG GILA NAK MAPUH KEGHAH BTW NAK DEKAT 60,70 MUKASURAT KE APE?

The Brute tak sampai sepuluh ok. Ke sampai tapi lebih satu. Eh.

4. Script writing untuk drama jugak. Jalan cerita semua dah ada tinggal nak tulis script je. Nasib baik presentation about 20 minutes je tak payah aku tulis sampai 50 pages. But still, how the hell do you write a script?

5.Ok dah lupa apa lagi yang aku kena buat.

6. Ade homework pape ke ah?

7. OH COMPUTER KENE BACEEE. Markah kuiz aku haritu harom gile :|

Ok taknak procrastinate dah tak elok buat kerja tu berlengah-lengah ni ciri-ciri orang munafik. Em, kan?

I shall end this post with a sentence(?)

"Don't spend too much time thinking about doing something. JUST DO THE DAMN THING ALREADY"

:)

I took this picture using Yunie's phone in Grammar class today. I don't know why (actually I do but it sounds more awesome if I say I don't know why I like certain things. But whatever.) I like these words. I think it's prolly because they just sound really cute and sweet . Don't you think so? :)

* * *

Semalam aku pergi ambek laundry dengan Yunie. And then suddenly die tanye, "Weh sape yang kuaja sangat cakap macamtu kat kau?" And obviously she was referring to my Keling post. So I was like, "Adelaaaah sorang budak tu." Lepastu Yunie sambung membebel-bebel and then she told me mase sekolah die pun pernah kena ejek hitam :| That's why sampai sekarang die ade masalah kalau kena bagi presentation. Masa Yunie cerita aku macam WHAT THE HELL TAK HITAM LANGSUNG KOT AYUNIE SAPE EJEK DIE MEMANG BUTE EJFGEJFGRFGFWEFGE3JFJRFRFGERFTYFHEGRF!!!

The only thing yang aku geram dengan orang-orang macamni is because of them, we suffer. Because of their petty teasing, we are the ones who are affected. Because of their inhumane nature, we end up feeling inferior to other people. Most of us had or worse, still have problems in daily communications. They took away our self-confidence. Our voice. The voice we were supposed to have, the confidence we were supposed to develop during our adolescent period. They took that away from us and for that, I find it hard to forgive them. I just couldn't help thinking that if it wasn't for them, I might be more confident than the not-so-confident person I am today. And yes, it's hard to not bear a grudge against them.

Imagine you were in my place. Imagine you were the one whose confidence were stripped away by cruel teasings all through your childhood. Imagine that. Imagine it and feel the pain that I've felt through those 10 years. Feel it, embrace the damn pain it. I only started to develop my self confidence when I was 17. Moving to a new school, being close friends with boys for the first time, helped me regain my confidence more than anything. I used to think that the day I talk face to face with a boy for more than 1 minute would be the end of the world. I was very conscious of myself. How I would look through his eyes. Would he be disgusted with me? Would he stopped talking to me halfway because I may perhaps appear too ugly to him?

Those kind of thoughts made me stay in my cocoon for a very long time. And please don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying that it's a good thing to socialize and get it goin with boys or whatever thoughts you may be having. What I really mean is, sooner or later you will HAVE to communicate with boys. Like in group discussions or something. And it really helps to be prepared for this kind of thing or people might say you're too much of an introvert. It's nice to have guy friends, it really is. Tapi ingat batasla, tu je. 

So you see why I hate them. Those teasers. I don't hate them because of the teasings. Ok lah aku mengaku aku memang buruk gila masa sekolah rendah dengan sekolah menengah dulu. Serious. I think they just couldn't help but to tease me. But whatever. I just hate them because of what their teasings did to me. Nothing else. Tapi takpelah kalau dendam elok-elok pun tak baik.

I hereby, forgive you assholes people for all the things you said to me and for what it did. Saya maafkan anda semua, dan semoga hidup anda sentiasa dalam barakah Allah dan semoga sekarang semua dah matang tak macam budak kecik lagi perangai. Ok? :)