wah hah!

exam lagi dua tiga hari habis WEHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
godd im so tired of sleeping at 2am evry night n waking up at 5 and going to school n sitting for the stupid exam im tired im tired IM TIREDD OF IT ALL.
im gonna be mentally ill.i knew it.

today got sjarah n math 1.dood sjarah rockss!the essay part was fried peanut HAHA.wee of course la.bcos i was cheating mcm org gila wth amy n bqis.bqis was SO obviously cheating!she bought in a full length note pad paper wth history notes ALL OVER IT.about the renaissance shit n evrythng.n we passed it between us three since we were sitting vair close to each other.and another of our banyak tactics was passing small folded notes thru pens.we folded a small sized paper as small as it cud get n we selt-ed it on the pen.see how tacticfull we are? :D

and yesterday lagi gila weii.bqis n amy actually SMS-ED EACH OTHER during agama exam!like wtfreak u guys gile hebat dooooh.the three of us were snickering n giggling like half mad bcos of what we were doing.mann its so easy to cheat lah.the teachers dont even look at yew.theyre too busy marking papers at the back.tch tch tch!now thts a profitable mistake.hehe.

next week got summore papers.ADDMATH.i know im dead.why the effing hell is +math so blarrdy hard?is it mean to be torturous?i feel genuinely stupid when i was answering paper two.i looked at amy n she mouthed,"CKGU NAK BUNUH KITA KAAA?"shes NOT exaggerating cos it was damnn hard.ahh well,im not gonna see anymore of it nextyear.BYEBYE ADDMATHS BYEBYE SCHOOL LIFEE IMA GROWN UP GIRL NOWW HAHAHA.okay tht didnt sound so grown up.teehee.

i didnt talk to her today.godd she's ticking me off wth her attitude.vair similiar to a sonofabitch.gelii dohh.i dont thnk i wanna talk to her anymore.go away lah u.kacau hidup gua saja.huh.

fuyoh.

after almost one month of no posts,HERE'S ONE TODAYY!

hehh today is one of the fabbest day ive had this year bcoss,MY HOT PHYSICS TUTION CRUSH TALKED TO MEEE.well,we didnt actually had a conversation.okay heres how it went,
its already 530 and our tuition was ending.so i was busy packing my stuff in the bag when sara suddenly asked me,"hey are u going to the mppj public speaking next month?" and soo i was so busy talking to sara and packing my things(MULTITASKING BABEHH) when i accidently reached for HIS calculator(he sits beside me evry single week tahu kaaaan) and i was putting it in my bag when i heard him say"calculator i..." AND THE WAY HE SAID WAS AS IF HE WAS ABOUT TO CRYY.OMG SOO BLARDYY COMEL MACAM GILE NAK MATI TAHU TAKKKK.wth his expression n evrythng.i grinned stupidly n said,"eh,sory soryyyy!" and that was it.hehe.i know lah he said like just two words to me,but its a start ritee.hehe.kecoh gila.but i was so happy i smiled all the way back homee.no i didnt actually did the happy happy smile.i just grinned stupidly as i did before.heckk what a greatt day babehh!

okay now wan cakap apa lagi?

godd i wanna ctalk abotu so much thngs but WHY OH WHY doesnt anythng come out when i start typing.pfftt.

haa,i just finished reading a malay novel.WAHSEY BEST MACAM NAK MAMPUS.its titled ungu karmila by ramlee awang murshid.damnn his novels are seriously A-rated.simply the best in msia.the plot,the storyline(storyline n plot sama la?) and the evrythngg just kept me glued to the novel altho i was having my chemistry n bio exam the next day.hehe.selambalaahh.

now talk about exam laah.so far i thnk okay lah.maybe bcos i actually studied insanely this year.last year masa periksa satu hapak pun wa tarak paham.and consequently i failedd evry single single subject.im so not joking oge.during my 1st sem exam last year,i had 9 G9's.i FREAKIN FAILED 9 subjects out of the 11 subjects.ini budak banyak pandai ooo.hehe.

but that was then.lets look ahead shall we?
ahh superb life.
when will you be here.

<3

seeing a lot of you today makes me smile like orang gila okay. :)

why?

I know ive said that u shud never give up.but sometimes,when somethng is just not meant to be,it wud be better to just give up on that smethng and just move on wth ur live.my point being that its no use to keep hoping for the impossible.ur just gonna get disappointed over and over again.

Whose gonna suffer?

YOU.

Who will feel miserable?

YOU.

Who will feel stupid n betrayed?

YOU,YOU and YOU.

He wont feel a thng.yeah,sad much.but thts just how life works.u like him,he doesn’t feel the same way.ur sad ur disappointed,he doesn’t even care.

What pure pain it is to be sitting beside someone while knowing u just cant have them.not now,not never.never forever.

I wish you knew how I was feeling.i wish you’d care.i wish for a lot of thngs.but none of them comes true.now i know why.bcos all the wishes are for you.about how id wish one day u wud look at me in a different way.not just a friend,not just a no one.but as a someone.someone who matters.will that day ever comes?i guees not.its obvious that we’re just not meant to be.

Another feeling.another disappointment.could life be any BETTER?

Sigh.

cool laa wei.

looks at the rhymed words tht popped into of my mind while i was bored studying ysterday.

whenever u appear in my mind.something beats in my heart.is it a feeling?is it a dreading?oh,i realized,that im just missing.every breath i take,every move i make.i miss you i really do.u constantly appear on my mind.smiling,grinning as if you own the world.how i love that innocent look.how i long to see that smile again.how i dread not bing able to see you for so long.for never,forever.my heart belongs to you as it always does.but do u know?do u know?ive cried a tear or two deciding whether to tell you.but bcause im such a coward.i steadily choose not to.i fear rejection,i fear humiliation.i wonder if you feel the same way as i do.i wonder if your heart beats faster when we set eyes on each other.i miss you truly,deeply and painfully.although u wud have never known.about my feelings.about my missings.about my longing for you baby.for you,just for you.hearts will be broken.feelings will be torned.but i know deep down under that i only want to be wth you.in your arms.conquering ur mind.just us two.just us two.i desire you.


hebat tak saya cipta ayat2 cinta? :D
i dont know to whom am i writing ths.
but it just feels,uhh.right.hehe.

i dedicate to my frens oke lah.
teehee.

hm.

when the world tells you stop,hope whisphers, "one more time.."
lets tie our pinkies together,
and be happy forever.
i love you. :)



MY 50TH POST YALLL.

rawr.

DOOOD how long has it been since my last post?roarr.siklanag manyak malas mahu write di sini maa.now i actually have my own diary.yeah,the one tht you have to WRITE wth your hands,and BELIEVE ME when i say ur tangan gets lenguh real fast mann.hahaha.

okayy wht to type?
haa i got one.

*takes deep breath*
wimp im giving up on you.seriously i am.im tired of being thisway.im tired of saying okay.im tired of longing for you,when i know tht u dont feel tht way too.im tired of seeing you n feel my heart racing.im tired of talking to you while inside im really dying.so please just go away.cos i dont want you to stay.im trying to hate you rite now you know.cos all the pain you bot keeps me low.i hate you my mind boggler,i hate you my attention attracter.go away just go away.please.

now thts a nice rhymed speech isnt it?HAHA.seriously.im being serious.get out of my life.altho im certain tht u have no idea tht im silently launching an emotion attack on you.n maybe ud never know bout it.but here this,I DONT BLARDY CARE.as long as im satisfied,as long as im happy inside,i dont need youuuuuu.byebye stupid byebye frver n ever n EVER.
godd that feels GOOOOOOOOOOOODDD.

ok bye.