Aku tak rasa aku suka dok sini.
taktahulah kenapa kan,aku rasa macam loner gile.
yes memangla adaku banyak ex-alamin dekat sini.
nody,khaulah,raihana etc etc.
but its like..they've got their own friends now.
it's not the same as it was back in alamin.
it feels somewhat..awkward when we hang around.
i hung out in nody's room yesterday in mahalah khadijah.one of her roomates was her ex-smtkl friend.they were really close in school,i could tell.and her other friend was one she had known a long time since her father worked with this girl's mother.and plus all three of them took up architecture.and i was the only one who took bio sns.
so yeah,i felt a bit left out when they talked about homeworks and stuffs.cos i didnt understand a shit.
and kolah also had new friends.her roommates,her classmates.since i registered late she had already socialized and made new friends.and we seem..very distant.
what we had now was nothing like what we had when we were in 4sal. now everything was sort of..faked.
i dont know why it feels like that.but im just blurting out what i feel here.it is my blog after all.im not after any sympathies thankyou.it's just that i dont like to hold emotional burdens for long.
today i ate breakfast alone,went for my english placement test alone,sat in front of the office and read my newly bought 'di atas sajadah cinta' alone,went back to my room alone,went for my arabic placement test alone,had spaghetti and kuew tiau sup alone,went to my room alone,went down again for chicken chop alone and finally into this cyber cafe,ALONE.
i've never felt so friendless in my entire life.
i feel like im the most pathetic being here.
and i hate this feeling.
i hate it.