Hari terakhir tahun 2009

Mesti mahu post juga something seperti tahun lepas dan tahun lepas punya lepas supaya tiga tahun ada post yang bertarikh 31 december!

ya aku tahu aku hebat.

dan cantik.

dan comel.

hastalavistah 2009, hai cik abang 2010.

p/s: dengan harapan ada boyfriend pada tahun 2010.

The limit has been reached

These past three weeks have been so hectic that the only thing I wanna do now is go home and stay there until the end of they year.

or preferably forever.

I don't think I've gotten used to this kind of stress since I was a lazy mofo in school and all. I seriously think that I have somehow reached my limits and right now all I want is mak and ayah. I miss them sooo badly :(

This was just like how I felt during the first month of PLKN. I felt so terrible. I thought of mak and ayah for every second of every minute of the day. I was so miserable. But thank god lat was there. I actually owe a lot to her you know. I'm very lucky to get thrown in the same camp as my bestfriend. I love you lat :D

I'm thinking of persuading mak to bawak me to some spa where I can get a kickass massage while inhaling aromatherapy scents(?)

That is indeed, heaven on earth.

Oh and I just HAVE to show you this. Lee showed it to me weeks ago and I sort of forgot to paste it here.

Behold, Twilight saga fans.


Screw Bella. I love my twinkies.

Number one : I should stop being a lazy mofo.

I think if I were to write down a list of what I should stop doing it would be endless.

well okay, I'll try.

2. I should stop waking half an hour before class starts and skip breakfast (eventhough it's only a cup of hot chocolate with oats) and behave like some retarded ass in class.

no I think the retarded part is likely to happen if I drink glucose before going to class or two cups of nescafe the night before.

i iz hypah.

3. I should stop carelessly spending my money and say "SOMEONE STOLE MY MONEHHH!!" the next time I look into my purse.

just a little reminder to myself since this has happened before. I still think my RM30 was stolen by something. The possibility of SOMEONE doing it is just..wrong to even be considered. I trust my dormmates n_n (have to insert gay emoticon to show never ending trust)

4.I should stop allowing my eyes to go wild whenever I walk through block B1 and B2.

It's sort of embarrassing to see someone trying to pull up their pants while keeping on their towels so that their underwear won't show at the same time.

5.I should stop taking this course for granted.

I think BEN is not different than bioscience. apart from the part where you don't learn bioshit chemistryshit and physicshit of course. the method of studying is just the same really. I know I have to work really hard (cliche gila buhbee) and get a kickass cgpa.

but all of it won;t come true without EFFORT. which I happen to extremely lack.

I'm screwed.

6.I should stop analyzing people when they sleep and judge them after it.

This is just one of those plain brain-not-engaged moments.

7.I should stop thinking how the hell I would spend my money so that I won't be flat broke at the end of the week. and actually DO something about the damn thing.

I have very poor money management. I think I need to marry an accountant. In nilai, there's a lot of hot econs student.

It's not that hard to put two and two together.

8. I should stop hating people because I am not them.

Yes, I am one of THOSE people. Nobody's perfect (ayat cliche gila buhbee II) after all.

9. I should stop thinking that I would die if I ever ran out of money and it's not time to go back home yet.

Remember that your parents can always transfer money to your bank account. Plus, whatever are you friends for? :D

10. I should stop thinking like a five year old.

But I shall never stop acting like one.

I love myself.

The scattered emotions

I cant' think straight. Thoughts are racing through my mind like speeding bullets, set to kill. As it collides with every inch of my brain I felt a sharp tingle. I can't stop thinking. But I don't even know what am I thinking about. It's just a big giant blur inside my brain. I can't think clearly. I don't even know this feeling that I'm experiencing.

It's all a big humongous gigantic blur.

A blur.

If this is what I'm supposed to be good at, then why am I not satisfied with the outcome? I feel bad for all those people who had high hopes for me. This is only the start and I feel as if I've shattered their hopes into half.

I don't want shitty marks. I want to be the one on top. I have made the effort. But why do I feel like my effort isn't paying off? Was I using the wrong method?

I feel like I've lost something. I don't want that smile to falter. The smile that had so much kept my spirits up. The smile I long for. The smile I adore looking at. The smile that makes me smile from ear to ear. The smile that says "I'm proud of you."

I don't want that smile I love so much to morph into a frown. I don't want the curve to be drawn vice versa. I don't want it. I don't.

From this moment on I'm going to promise myself that I will do whatever it takes to keep that smile on that face. I will do anything in my power, everything I'm capable of doing to keep that smile on. Witness readers, my vow to myself. And I ask for your good conscience to remind me of what I have said here and now.

Remind me of the smile. Remind me of the explicit meaning that the particular smile gives. Remind me, please remind me.

Such hectic this week had been and it's only Monday. Such emotion that a paper can trigger. Such disappointment can be felt by person from the gift of sight. Such a powerful feeling a person can experience from an effort so blatantly done.

I shall not be something I loathe, but I shall loathe myself if I could not be something.

My emotions are still running wild. Save me.

Because the sight of you elevates me from reality.

Exam has finally, finally, ENDED.

thankyou thankyou thankyou MEE for studying with me throughout the whole friggin exam. no, wait.

for pushing me to study harder, stronger and better(?)

okay what the hell.

well anyways thanks mee for making sure I studied enough.

tengkyu tengkyu tengkyu tengkyu tengkyu :D

After arabic today I went to Giant with Mee and Amilin. I was so hongreh and was so in the mood for kfc's fat fat chicken and was so HONGREHH (again).

and I couldn't resist spending RM25 for a pair of the most perfect black baggy pants ever and a red shirt.

I. COULDN'T. RESISTTT O.O

the pants were so cheap! RM10 a piece like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

and the red shirt looks like the one Sasa bought from Giordano. and it was only rm15! like what the hell what the hell watahelll.

I love shopping at giant. well technically it's the stores outside. but giant have really nice pajama pants. all pink and frilly. i wanted to buy one but it was wayy over my budget. rm18. see how broke i currently am -_-

can't wait to go back hooome this thursday! or friday. dang im having that shafawi test on thursday from 4 to 6pm like what lah I wannna go back on thursdayyy.

and plus it only contributes like 5 marks. i think my perfect 10/10 leadtrain mark can cover that up HAHA.

I wanna change my layout. this is getting so boring. dark pink like ew why did i ever agree to this layout in the first place.

Mee did show me a website full of cute layouts but I'm still hesitating. lecehla nak cari cbox balik. and nak edit-edit the colums. god god god malasnyaaa.

maybe I'll do it when I get home. Imisshome Imisshome Imisshome.

I am so pissed that they went to wet world shah alam without waiting for me! im just a week late from home jeeeeeez. I shall make them go there for a second time next week. Haha.

Wonder how my mid semesters marks are gonna look like.

Absent minded, for the time being.

This has to be the most boring weekend ever.

Picture this,

stuck in this padang jarak padang tekukur nilai with nothing but a few uninteresting shops at nilai square ( not even a mall! ) and exams for THREE DAYS IN A ROW!

wohoo yay me.

linguistic was not so bad after all. well, I still haven't got my marks yet so yeah I have the right to say that haha. The only mark that I've gotten so far is IRK which is 17.5/20.

not bad for someone who registered almost a month late eh?

HAHA MOOD BANGGA DIRI SANGAT TURNED OOONNNNNNNN.

well anyways gotta go study FIM for tomorrow. and arabic the day after. erghhh -_-

*logs in facebook*

Random.

My weight has seen a drastic drop from 48kg to 45kg. damn. rasa macam nak pergi overseas 3 bulan lagi. baru kau tahu lapar tak lapar.

haha over gila kata sabah oversea. but betullah kan in a way. it's over the south chine pacific sea. or some sea.

classes starts tomorrow. and oh exams too.

exams should be banned really, so we can save the trees.

no more exam paper production!

boykot indah kiat.

Today I..

So I was scrolling through Lee's list of blog when I suddenly saw the words 'DAMN AIKA!' as Azie's latest post and being the curious S I was I opened it.

so after reading it I was all like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA PADAN MUKA KAUUU AZIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGAGAHAHAGAHAGAH!!!!

Serious weh that was the main reason I put up the poop picture but I hadn't thought of someone being in that precise position, a position I imagined that someone would be in when I posted it.

Sorry for the, uh, unappetizing post Azie :D

But I so totally had a real laugh.

Well anyways have you guys ever heard about a movie called Joe's Apartment? The movie about this loser-like guy who shares his apartment with 4o thousand COCKROACHES?

Like c'mon dude, COCKROACHES?!

I was quivering throughout the whole movie maaan there were dancing and singing-in0an-opera-kind-of-way cockroaches and everything. And plus the apartment that Joe lives in is a total dumpster with half-eaten tacos and pizza boxes and opened peanut butter jars. It's no wonder there are 40 thousand cockroaches living with him.

But the fact that they have the knowledge of speech(perghh ayat linguistic) is sort of cool you know, when you have a cockroach that talks then you'd probably wouldn't wanna bash the hell ouf of them as much. Plus they look kind of cute at the end of the movie.

But that doesn't mean I've taken a sudden liking to cockroaches, EUWW. I'd still bash them with rolled nespapers and spray them with ridsect(mortein?) everytime I see them.

After all, all is fair in love and war.

Okay I don't know what that's gotta do with anything but still, it's cool to have a saying for everything isnt' it? I'm gonna start sounding like the wise old owl who knows everything. Or something.

On another completely unrelated matter, my internet was being stupid the whole day so I got absolutely NOTHING, NADA, NIL, ZERO, ZILCH thing to do except sim-ing and sleeping.

While I was sim-ing I suddenly remembered that I had to take some picture of my sim family because I wanted to show Azie how my sim husband (who also, somehow ended up looking a bit like my ex) looked like.

But I forgot where it's automatically saved. Hmm.

Okay got it.



Behold, my humble home from top view. Because they only gave me like 18000 simoleon (or was it 15000 simoleon?) I had to settle down with this teeny little house. Now that my son, Jacob Crawford (I'm Aika Crawford and my husband is Chace Crawford hikhik) is a big boy and doesn't sleep in his cot anymore, I need to buy another bed. But the problem is, there's no more space in the room -_-

maybe I could somehow squeeze it in the living room.


And this is my dear husband dozing with our son in his crib. He was still a baby then. I think this was taken yesterday. You never realize how fast your kids grow. One minute he was still still i his crib crying over a dirty diaper and the next minute he already knows how to prepare his own breakfast!


My husband, showin some loooove to our baby. Isn't he such a responsible and adorable young daddy? Oh god that's so sexy.


DOES HE NOT LOOK LIKE MY EX? Or I'm just exaggerating a bit over what my unconscious mind has created. Or he does look like my ex, but just a tad hotter version of him. Wow, that's hot.

You know, this could probably happen in the future.

A husband who is HOT and COOKS. How lucky can you get?

The hot husband cooking picture s'gonna wraps up this post. Now you see why I like playing sims. I can finally be, wear and act like my alter ego(?) in that world. Like I have a need for an alter ego. I can't even manage my own self properly. Heh.

To them, I will always be a joke.

I think it's time I write something to get the poop picture out of the way. It bugs me every time I open this blog. Being greeted by a picture of a very long poop isn't exactly inviting you know.

HAHA tell that to yourself.

Okay whatever.

I'm planning to go back to Nilai this Wednesday with Mee so that we can totally 100% concentrate on the other four killer subjects that we're having for exams right after the mid break. Seeing to that I don't wanna flunk anything again, I'll just have to concentrate really effing hard on my studies an SCCCOOORREEEEEEEEEEEEE.

well, according to me that is.

This has to be the most disgusting thing I've ever posted.

First of all, sorry for the really disturbing graphical image up here.

but it's sort of necessary for this post :D

behold, The Poop List.

1. Ghost Poopie-The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

2. Clean Poopie-The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

3. Wet Poopie-The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.

4. Second Wave Poopie-The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

5. Turtle Poopie-The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

6. Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie-The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

7. Lincoln Log Poopie-The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

8. Gas-sy Poopie-The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

9. Drinker Poopie-The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

10. Corn Poopie(Self explanatory)

11. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie-The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

12. Spinal Tap Poopie-That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

13. Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)-The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

14. Liquid Poopie-The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.

15. Mexican Poopie-The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.

16. Upper Class Poopie-The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell.

17. The Suprise Poopie-You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

18. The Dangling Poopie-This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

poops can be really interesting, no?

When adults lose their manners

Shitty councelor. She didn't even told me that she was going to cancel our firt one hour session today. When I see her next week I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind. Sheeeeesh.

Do you know how excrutiatingly painful it can be waking up at 8 am when your class actually starts at 10 am? And it's was all because some durbrain didn't even bother to tell you that your sessionhas been canceled due to her attending come dumb course in dumb genting.

God, this is extremely pissing.

I COULD'VE GOTTEN ONE MORE HOUR OF SLEEP.

Are you aware of how much of a difference an hour of sleep can do to you?

I guess you don't.

Because learning doesn't only happen in the classroom

Things learnt in the past 24 hours :

1. Don't drink two cups of nescafe (rich or regular doesn't matter) in a span of 5 hours.

Unless you want your piss to end up looking and smelling like a pale yellow colored nescafe. The smell of the piss and nescafe alas, cannot be distinguished. Save you taste a drop of the piss and a drop of the real nescafe.

You may also want to avoid doing this this because your head will feel like it's constantly vibrating and as if it might vibrate more aggresively every second and finally shoot off of your neck leaving you, a head shorter.

You might also feel very disoriented when it's 6 in the morning and finally time to sleep because your eyes will feel very heavy but your brain will continue to be alert, working its's ass (if it has one) off.

So in short, just stick to a cup of nescafe in case you ever intend to pull an all nighter.

NEVER IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, take two cups.

trust me, i know.

2. 2 hours of sleep CANNOT POSSIBLY substitute the usual 16 hours of sleep you're used to getting everyday.

sleeping at 6.15 in the morning and waking up at two hours and fifteen minutes later IS NOT a habit to be practised in case you're interested in leading a healthy lifestyle.

I'd recommend sticking to the standard 8 hours of sleep regime to avoid any future complications, physically or mentally.

3. Its Brentley, NOT Bertley.

Damn you Mr. Mallard (inside joke for everyone who took the poetry exam a few hours ago)

4. Chicken is not supposed to be eaten on a daily basis.

Toasts, as it happens, make really good, not to mention cheap, lunch.

5. Stop wearing your darned extremely worned out pair of gladiators to class everyday.

You're bound to slip and fall, IN PUBLIC. (include 'watching cute guy' to add to swelling humiliation)

6. It is beyond awesome to have your classmate for almost all of your classes (but one) as your dormmate.

I can finally stay up and ACTUALLY study (with occasional peeks at facebook every 2 or 3 minutes) until 6 am. Before this, the only reason I stayed up late at night was because I was busy online doing god knows what.



I WAS NOT WATCHING PORN.

7. Wearing a T-shirt with the words I'm Alone printed on it doesn't make you feel less lonely.

This one hardly needs an embellishment.

8. Healthy competition is actually good for your spirit(?)

Well, minus the two cups of nescafe and being sleep-deprived for one whole friggin night.

9. It's nice to find out, once or twice in every month, that you don't have a baby swimming around in your vagina. Or your womb. Wherever babies hang out in the tummy really.

Thank god for periods. Minus the period pains and sporadic leakings. Dang that's irritating.

10. It won't harm you to make new friends. But just remember to cherish the old ones just as well.

I miss you guys in PJ :')

Being bestfriend-less.

I hate the fact that you've changed a whole lot since we first started becoming friends.

I hate the fact that that i don't receive as many messages from you as i used to during high school.

and I really hate the fact that you're suddenly morphing into someone i don't even know a tick about in a really short period of time.

I hate it. I hate it all.

I used to think that we would keep on being the best of friends, the closets buddies, the inseparable pals forever. and i meant, FOR EVER.

but instead you had to go and ruin it all, by changing.

change change change.

have you never considered how i would feel when i was told that you had a boyfriend AFTER you broke up with him?

have you ever considered how i would feel knowing it from someone i have never met my entire life? a total stranger?

have you ever considered my feelings at all, for that matter?

i've been refusing to believe the fact that you would rather lie to me than face my disapproval of your relationship.

but now, i'm starting to get the grip of reality.

but im still infuriated that the only reason you didn't bloody tell me about your boyfriend was because you said i'd be mad at you.

i can't believe you simply lied to me. i just, cant.

i thought best friends were supposed to tell each other everything.

i thought we were supposed to share every single shit in our lives with each other.

i thought we were sisters.

but then i was proven wrong.

you couldn't have ever felt how hurt i was feeling at that time. i told you EVERY SINGLE SHIT that ever happened to me. i never hid anything from you.

you had a boyfriend. and i never knew about him. at least not from you anyway.

i knew that we had faced personal difficulties trying to keep up with each others life since we separated two years ago. we weren't in the same school anymore. we weren't in the same class anymore. we weren't sitting next to each other anymore.

when i knew you and i were going to the same college i was so very happy. needless to say, i was thrilled at the prospect of getting to see you everyday, spending breaks together, gossiping about guys as we did when we were in high school.

but i hadn't anticipated what would become of you and me.

now i know that school life and college life are two wholly different things. we wouldn't have time to hang around with one another because both of us would be really busy with our own workloads.

now i know.

i just wanted to tell you that you can't imagine how devastated i was when i knew that you hadn't shared with me the most basic things in our friendship.

now you see how little things are are usually taken for granted can probably be the cause of the end of our friendship.

i'm aware of the number of guys you have in your phonebook. but you told me they were all friends. and i believed you. like a stupid, trusting, curious less being i did what i've done.

i bloody bloody trusted you.

can you feel how betrayed i felt when i was told about it? can you? can you?

maybe you won't be reading this in the near future because i know that you rarely open my blog. but when you do, i want you to know that it'll be really hard to forgive you for the pain you've caused, the unconscious betrayal that you've succeeded in doing.

this isn't an immature post, this is my blog.

To the twilight saga fans.

winner of the most epic movie poster of the yeaarrrr.

I can't decide whether latin or french is the sexier language.

Wow I now have 303 posts since december 2007.

it reminds me of 3OH!3. that's a cute name for a band don't you think?

but the song is quite perverted though. huda hates them to bits :D

except when the had a duet with katy perry. althought the video was sort of explicit, the song was really good. that's maybe beacuse i just so totally adore katy perry.

i'd really like to go see her if she ever comes to malaysia. but yeah, concerts are prohibited.

lucky me.

well it's not like i like going to concerts anyway(and it's not as if i've ever been to one -_-) the atmosphere is just so..crazy. people screaming and fainting and hyperventilating(?) and sweating (gross) and jumping around. so, NOT my type of place.

although i do like screaming, hyperventilating, and jumping around. but i like it better if done alone. NOT with a group of total strangers.

awkward.

i don't like how im incapable of spending my time with my old friends and my new friends. that's why we got into that stupid fight anyway. it's been a year now. and things have taken a turn for the best. i really really miss them.

i hate it how some people are so totally unpredictable.

like you baby, just like you.

one minute you're okay, and the other minute you've suddenly morphed into this horrible monster i don't even know a tick about.

you stupid, stupid piece of meat.

Because I wonder, a lot.

I just realized that i accidently made another blogger account using my hotmail e-mail.

suppose i typed my hotmail instead of my yahoo and walaahhh!

a new account.

a new blank account.

like i needed two blogger accounts right now.

this one's barely managable.

well the expected(?) happened. lin gave me her laptop. but i hadn't bring myself to register it at the mahalah office for the darn sugly sticker, and the it departement for the wifi access. so right now im still living off other people's laptop.

i wonder why people call laptops lappy. is it like a petname. since when do people have petname for gadgets anyways. should i name my phone?

im thinking of piggy.

cutee.

okay so back to what i was initially trying to say, my second week at nilai went quite okay i guess. i had to say, how i see it, nilai is just like al-amin.

minus the dresscode, the unfamiliar faces, the non-existance of assembly and a whole lot others really.

but basically, it's just like al-amin.

i wonder why so many al-amin students 'tragically' wind up in uia.one of the factors being it's closer to home?

probably.

i met a lot, and i mean A LOT of ex alaminian. and i did things that are supposedly unimaginable to me a few years ago.

like talking to auzaie in a very very civilized conversation.

lee was right. alaminians are starting to socialize with one another.

it's mostly thanks to facebook.

where you can comment craps and like pictures and posts and write notes(whatever are blogs for) et cetera et cetera.

facebook is THE social networking site.

like, you never see alaminians socializing in myspace or friendster or myrakan(god, why do i have to bring this up) no?

choosy, perhaps.

i think i need to brush up on my writing skills. no essays means no brainstorming. although the occasional 'weh-tolong-aku-buat-homework-english-ni' from my doormates do help a bit.

and i still don't understand why we have to learn BMW.

no, not the car.Basic Research Method & Writing Report.

it, suck, balls.

and no i wont hesitate to curse on this significant subject.

oh and i just found out that one of my classmate slept with his other classmates.

i wonder how on earth could he had done it without thinking of his parents.

i miss mine.