On an emotional hiatus

I just fail to see the point of blogging anymore because I know that you're currently away and you won't be reading any of my posts. Well, maybe you'll read them when you get back but whatever. So my next post will probably be after you get back from wherever you are :)

P/s: I miss reading yours.

Hi

So you probably know it by now. But please do allow me to ask one small favor from you. If the feeling isn't mutual, can you just ignore me? You don't have to say things like, "Hey, I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same way as you" or something in that league. I might jump off a building out of total embarrassment or cry until my lungs have holes in them. Or whatever.

Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes. Other times, it's just mental pain. I mean, who would like to be ignored by someone they like right? I know I don't. But I don't really see any other logical way that wouldn't have any lasting emotional effects on me. This is the only way I can think of. So please, if you don't feel for me like how I feel for you, then ignorance might just be blissful. For you.

Oh, and you don't have to worry about how I would cope. Since the feeling isn't mutual, then it's not like you would care right? And I don't mean this in a sarcastic tone either. It's a matter of fact. When you don't have feelings for someone, you just don't care about them. The humane care might be there of course but that special kind of care wouldn't. And that's the kind that actually counts. That everyone wants someone to feel for them. That special kind of care.

But oh well, life goes on. I've lived for 19 years before knowing you. And I'm sure I can continue living on without you just as well as I did before. It would be wonderful if I were to be given the chance to share my life with you in the future though. My happiness, my sorrows, and all my other feelings. How nice would it be if I get to share them all with you? If I were to have that opportunity, then I honestly would not ask for anything more I swear.

If I can have you, then I would feel completed. But if I wasn't destined for you, and you me, then I guess I'd just have to find someone else to complete me. Because no matter what happens, life goes on. You can't stop that. Whether you're ready or whether you're still stumbling, it'll still go on. It won't wait for you. So I don't think I would wanna be remembered as the sad pathetic girl who hung on to you like there was no other for me. I wanna be remember as the girl who lifted her chin up high, smiled a wide smile and said to you goodbye eventhough your answer was no all along.

And I'm pretty sure that the latter attitude would lead me to a very happy ending. Eventhough it means not having you as a part of it.

Tumblr

I wanna have a tumblr account. Mainly because you can post (repost?) cute pictures in it. Like really really cute ones. Like the cartoon strips from Cyanide&Happiness. Or pretty pictures. Or emo, pretty pictures. Or pretty emo pictures. Or pictures that are emo and pretty. You get my point.

Yunie showed me her cousin's Tumblr few weeks ago and I really loooooooooooooved reading (scrolling through?) it. It's like full of meaningful quotes and funny things and cute colorful cupcakes and ice creams and cakes and pancakes and damn I'm starting to get hungry.

So you see why I want a Tumblr? :)

But it looks kind of complicated. Or it's just that I'm too used to Blogger. Either way, I wanna do a blogger. I mean, a Tumblr. It's gonna be like blogging using pictures. And since a picture is worth a thousand words, I don't have to write 8254293765427887635477 worded posts to convey my messages across(?) I can just like, paste a picture of chocolate gelato and everyone would know that I'm hungry. I wouldn't have to write things like, "IM HONGGREEHHHHHHHHHH IM SO FOKIN HONGGREEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH FEED ME MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH AYEM HONGGGRRRRRYYYYHHHHHHH"

Which can be quite not understandable to some people.

So yes, I WANT TO MAKE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT. I need someone to teach me how to properly use it though :|

The perfect two

This has to be the cutest song I have ever heard. It's even cuter than that gay First Lady song called..whatever it's called. HAHA PADAHAL DULU GILA GABAN PUNYA WORSHIP LAGU TU KAN.

Tapi sekarang bile denga balik lagu First Lady tu kan, macam, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tacky gile lirik lagu ni kepahal aku pernah puja dulu ee eee eeeeeeeee.

Lagu perfect two ni meanwhile, tak tacky langsung OKAYY. This song is sweetness in it's purest form. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Comel gila wei lagu ni.

Kalau malas nak dengar lagu baca lirik pun okelah. Hhaghagagagagaagaghagagahaghag.


You can the peanut butter to jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can can be the captain
I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that's I feel on our first date

You can be the hero
I can be your side kick
You can be the tear
That I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin
Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin

Don't know if I could ever be
W/out u cause boy u complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause your the apple to my pie
Your the straw to my berry
Your the smoke to my high
And your the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for u (for u)
U take the both of us of us (of us)
And were the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as were together

Don't know if I could ever be
W/out u cause boy u complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause your the apple to my pie
Your the straw to my berry
Your the smoke to my high
And your the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for u (for u)
U take the both of us of us (of us)
And were the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya

I love the way that u smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Cause your the apple to my pie
Your the straw to my berry
Your the smoke to my high
And your the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for u (for u)
U take the both of us of us (of us)
And were the perfect two

Sapa yang rasa lagu ni tak comel, HUH.

Aku tak boleh bagi specific title dekat post ni sebab all the paragraphs aren't really related

I absolutely hate it when I have the flu-cough-snot combo. I really feel like slitting my throat and vacuuming all the kahak out. Ew right I know. And it can be really annoying to the people around you too. Imagine having to "eheeeem ehemmmmm" in all the classes every 3 seconds. IS THAT NOT ANNOYING? I mean, I'm the one whose doing it and even I myself am annoyed. My classmates kept looking at me, of course, to see if I really had snot all over my throat or Im just plainly being a cheap attention whore in class. Whoever assumes the later is unquestionably retarded.

I mean, I don't like attention (CEH HAHAHAHAHAH) Ok lah maybe I do. Who doesn't kan. But I only want the rightly received kind of attention. The kind that you get when you answered a question correctly in class or when the lecturer announces that you have the highest score among all the classes that he teaches GOD THAT IS SUCH AN AWESOME FEELING. But the last time I felt that feeling had to be when I was 11. I think. I got the highest mark in English (what else) which was 96. And I did not really remember feeling that feeling during high school because I was so messed up hence my uberly ugly results.

Meh. The past is in the past right? At least I'm in a university now although it can be a real sucky university and I have a bright future ahead of me. I hope.

When I was in Form 1 I fooled around A WHOLE LOOOTTTTT. Going in and out of the discipline teacher's room was like a daily routine for me. Seriously. But I didn't do anything REALLY badass like smoking or stealing or making out(ew) or things like that. My kind of badass was the, uh, innocent kind of badass which was somehow considered extreme in Al-Amin godknowswhy. I pissed off the teacher who was known to never have shouted before. We fooled around during lab and talked and talked and talked when the class were discussing the outcomes and we passed photo albums of godkowswhat to each other. In short, we didn't have our attention on her at all.

So it only seemed logical that she would be really pissed. And so we all kena heret outside the lab and kena maki in front of all the students yang lalu lalang (masa tu time rehat senior kot? Eh) and then she heret all of use into the discipline teacher's room and then kena sambung maki etc etc. So at the end we apologized to her and swore to never repeat our behavior on that day ever again.

AS IF HAHAHAHAHHAHAGAHGAHAGAHGAHGA.

And then I played with the fire distinguisher with my friends on one day. I think this one was a bit unfair because someone had already opened the fire distinguisher punye penutup before us ok. So we were playing with the fire distinguisher yang dah basi(?) BUT WE WERE THE ONE WHO HAD TO PAY FOR IT! GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Tak pasal-pasal. Mak was of course, on the verge of killing me when I told her. But nevertheless she gave me the money to pay for the damage because I was so penniless when I was 13

OOHHHH and the highlight of that year had to be the constant beating up I got from Mak. Apart from fooling around. I was also a VERY VERY DEATHLY lazy ass. I rarely did my homework because I was too busy discretely playing in class with my gang or whatever. And one day my BM teacher got really fed up with me that she told Tyah I haven't been doing my homework. And Tyah, being the konon-konon responsible sister (puke gag puke vomit barf) she was not, told Mak. And of course when I came back from school that day I was beaten up like an old rag doll. My mother was very brutal when we were in school lol. Kalau takat lempang dengan cubit pulas-pulas tu memang dah lut la.

I remembered being beaten up with bulu ayam, hangers aaannndd a broomstick. Mak pernah pukul aku sampai patah bulu ayam ok. Hardcore kan aku :D But she usually just uses her hands and legs sometimes repeated slappings on the face and on the body and pinchings that could leave bruises for days were not a rarity for me during those days. I remembered going to school one day with selekeh unlipated tudung to hide my sore-looking left cheek because of the repeated slapping. And when I showed my friends the bruises on my back they were all like "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!!"

But that was when I was 13. As I grew older the beatings became less and less because dah besar kan. She babbles a lot now. But I'm just thankful that I don't get beaten anymore lol. Oh and this didn't only happen to me. My siblings and I grew up that way. Mak used her brutal method of disciplining to discipline us XD And I must say that it works out quite well. And I don't really see the beatings as physical abuse or whatever you might call it. It was just her way of bringing us up.  Despite my sort of scary chidhood, My Mak is awesome and I love her. Period :)

Most of my friends wouldn't have guessed what I went through at home because of what we did in school. But I had to say that I did deserve all that because of what I did. Karma is a bitch(?) And for the identity of the friends I had gone through so much with, you would only know who they are if you were in Al-Amin circa 2004. And if you stalk me real bad -.-

Oh I forgot what I wanted to write before I went through all the stories. I was going to tell you me result when I was in Form 1 :D For the first semester I got number 25 in a class of 30+ people and for the second semester I got number 30! :D AM I NOT AWESOME HAHAHAGAHAGHAGAHGAHAGHA.

But I kind of turned over a new leaf masa Form 2. First sem aku dapat nombor sepuluh okaaayyyyyy HAGHAGAHGAHGA, Yang tu pun aku rasa sebab kelas aku ade ramai budak bermasalah yang tak suke balajar. Hmmm. Second sem tak ingat la pulak dapat nombo berape. Betul eh aku tak ingat bukan nak cover hahgahagahgahgahagahgahga. Time Form 3 dengan Form 4 macam tak main dah nombo-nombo ni sebab lebih fokus kepada berapa banyak A kau boleh kutip. Trial aku 4A je kot. Tapi PMR aku dapat 5A! HAHAGAHAGHAGA HABIS PENCAPAIAN LA TU WEHH

And then naik Form 4 aku rasa macam terjadi dejavu sebab time first sem tu aku rasa dari 11 subjects yang aku amek 8 ke 9 tah dapat G9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TULAH HAKU MEMANG TAK SUKA SAINS SAINS JADAH HAROM NI TAPI MAK AKU SURUH AMEK JUGAK KAAAAAANNNN. Pastu opkos la kena marah kan. Tapi tak kene pukul ehehehehehehehehehehe. Second sem pun ala-ala tu jugak sampai guru kelas aku letak nama aku dalam list orang yang disuggest tukar ke Art stream HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA. Tapi kan time Form 5 aku pindak SMK dekat dengan rumah tuu so aku terus jelaah dengan science stream sebab kat skolah tu ade like 13 classes and aku tengok budak-budak art stream macam diabaikan kebajikanya(?)

Dekat Al-Amin ade 2 kelas je ok. Mane tak tekejot aku tetibe masuk sekolah yang ade 13 kelas neeyy. That's the best part of being in Al-Amin. Everybody knows everbody :) Dekat SMK tu aku sampai habis sekolah pun tak kenal semua batch aku lagi. Kenal muke la, tapi name semue tak tahuu. Dalam 3 sekolah yang aku pernah pergi seumur hidup aku ni, (Hira', Al-Amin, SMK s10 KD) aku rasa Al-Amin yang paling best. Sebab kawan-kawan yang aku dapat dekat Al-Amin, cari ceruk mana pun kau takkan dapat dah. They're really special :)

Saya sayang kawan-kawan Al-Amin saya! ♥

Jauh betul aku menyimpang.

I am getting the home fever. Or whatever it's called

Tadi aku menangis masa tengah cakap dengan Naqib sebab rindu sangat T_T Masa cakap dengan ayah pun aku menangis jugak sebab rindu 7623456787654345678765434578x sangaaaaaaaaaaaatt.

Aku ingat berdikari aku ni. Tapi dah nama anak bongsu tu manja jugak. Hehgehgeheghegheghegheghegehg. Tapi memang rindu gileeeeeeee gileeeeeeeee gileeeeeeeeeee kat Naqib dengan Bebi hu nak dekat sebulan aku tak jumpa diorang kot. Tadi masa aku besembang dengan Naqib rase macam nak amek KTM balik time tu jugak T_T

Comel gila suara dia tadi HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perbualan comel kami berbunyi begini,

Aku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAII NAAAAAAAQQQQQIIIIIIIBBBBBB (teruja kluasa doploh)

Naqib: Hai Antikah! (atau ejaan senonohnya, Aunty Kah)

Aku: Naqib dah momom (makan) ke?

Naqib: Naqib belum momom lagi. Ni Naqib baru nak momom teloq je.

Aku: Naqib rindu Antikah tak?

Naqib: YINDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Aku: Rindu banyak ke sikit? (ceh cam cakap ngan bopren pulak an)

Naqib: Naqib yindu banyak sangat sampai monkeyyyy! (die memang selalu cakap bende tak logik ok)

Naqib: Antikah nak balik bila? (Ni aku dengar suara Ayah suruh tanya kat background :') )

Aku: Antikah balik lagi dua hari. Naqib nak yat (cokelat) tak?

Naqib: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKK (teruja kuasa tigeplohlime)

Aku: Naqib nak yat ape?

Naqib: Naqib naaaaaaaaaaaakk.... MENTOS!

Aku: Mentos yang kale ape? (Habis bebudak la wehhh soklan haku nii)

Naqib: Naqib nak yang banyak kale (color.lol) yang Antilin (Aunty Lin) selalu beli kat Naqib tu. Yang tu baru bessstt!

Aku: Sedap ke yang kale-kale tu Naqib?

Naqib: Sedaaaaaaaaaapp. Tu kan Antilin selalu beli kat Naqib.

Aku: Okaayyy nanti Antikah beli mentos kale-kale kat Naqib. Naqib tak main dengan adik ke?

Naqib: Naqib tak main poonn. Bebi tengah momom dengan bibik kat bawah.

Aku: Kenape Naqib tak main dengan adik?

Naqib: Sebab Naqib takmaula. (-_-)

And after a few more questions Naqib passed the phone to Ayah. Then Ayah asked me how I was and have all the classes started yet and how many subjects am I taking and what are they and all that. I was choking with my own tears by then. I miss Ayah so much :| I wondered where Mak was though. Didn't hear her voice in the background lol.

You see, I don't talk much with Ayah at home. It's just the usual randomly said, "Awat Tkah?" whenever he sees me. My siblings would understand this of course lol. And sometimes he would ask me to print a letter for him or send an e-mail or whatever. If Ayah was the one sending me back to Nilai, it would be a very awkward car ride because both of use wouldn't be talking that much. I dunno what to say :| "How's your business Yah?" doesn't sound very promising hhaghagahaghaghag.

But I don't really care about the fact that we don't talk that much. As long as I know that he loves me as much as I love him, it's more than enough :)

The apples of my eyes :)

This is a pointless post

First things first. I had to say that those cute comments on my cbox WERE REALLY CUTTTEEEE. Like really really really cute. I know that maybe (maybe ok) it was written by my dormmates or my classmates or whoever that I'm familiar with (not that it matters. But you know). I don't really care though, because it's really cute :D

AND I'M GOING BACK HOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE THIS THURSDAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY. This is the only one thing I love about UIA. Eventhough I'm supposed to be taking like 7 subjects this semester, my classes end on Thursday afternoon! Is that not awesoooooooooooommmeeeeeee hehegehgeeghgege.

Well anyways, today was my fourth CCT class. And I still don't really understand anything much :| It's like, what the lecturer is writing on the board and what he's actually saying doesn't really relate to each other. Urrghhh. Tapi kawan aku yang dah amek CCT semua cakap it's the best subject ever la interesting la senang nak dapat A la. Like, what -_-

So after class I went to teh librereyh with Mee sebab nak cari buku pasal CCT since kitorang memang tak paham sepatah haram pasal CCT ni hfgefegfegfegefegf. Serious la kalau korang yang duduk kelas tu pun mesti korang cam bengap-bengap jugak kelas awal-awal ni. Bukan sebab aku memang bengap ok. CCT really is a weird subject. But it's not like I have a choice riggghhhhttt.

*After wrestling with Saleemah for 3 minutes*

I SWEAR SALEEMAH IS SO ANNOYING SHE KEEPS ON READING WHILE I'M TYPING I REALLY FEEL LIKE STUFFING HER INTO A SACK AND POST IT TO TIMBUKTU PRONTO OR WHATEVER SHE KEEPS CORRECTING MY WORDS AND STUFF AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH but I really can't do anything because I am using HER laptop after all

Oh and I had heaven for breakfast todayyyy ♥

Serioussssssssss weh that nasik lemak daun pisang dekat kedai pakcik tu sedap gile cam nasik lemak dekat langkap pulak hu rindu zaman-zaman tido di rumah langkap pulak tetibe T_T

And I had nasik ayam for lunch. So that's twice already with the nasik eating :| Kononnye nak makan nasik sehari sekali jeee tapi pagi tadi macam extra lapa pulak kan sebab semalam puase hegehgehegehgegehe. Aku bangun awal tau semata-mata nak pegi makan nasik lomak sedap tu. Dahla kelas pukul lapan kan. Sila bayangkan betapa awalnya aku bangun.

Ok pointless gila post ni. Mengantok weh. BubuiRINDUGILAKATBEBIDENGANNAQIB!!!

Ok bye.

8 reasons why you're single

1. Because every good looking guy is a jerk.

2. Every nice guy isn't good looking.

3. Every nice and good looking guy is taken.

4. Every nice, good looking, single guy is broke.

5. Every nice, good looking, single, rich guy is a cheater.

6. Every nice, good looking, single, rich, non-cheater guy is gay.

7. Every nice, good looking, single, rich, non-cheater and straight guy doesn't have any interest in us.

8. Every nice, good looking, single, rich, non-cheater, straight guy that does have an interest in us..has kids and is divorced.

Why am I making you a prority when you're not even making me an option?

Because I'm stupid, that's why.

And I'm very much aware of that. It's not that I want to keep on being stupid, it's just that I can't help but be stupid. I know that there's no such thing as wanting to be stupid but in my case, maybe there is. You just don't and wouldn't know what's going on on other people's minds. So it's best if you don't make any absurd conclusions about it.

Has it ever occurred to you that whatever you're writing or whatever you've written can make a big emotional impact on other people? Have you ever tried putting yourself in the shoes of someone else? Imagine being them for a day? Imagine going through what they go through on a daily basis? Have you?

One of your many reasons of existence is to either make or break people. And I think you're doing a pretty good darn job at breaking me.

"Never make someone a priority when they only consider you as an option"

Note never.

So if I told you I'd give you cute little babies, would you marry me?

Ok sori lama tak apdet bukanlah ada orang kisah pun kan this is more like an apology to myself har har har.

Kelas dah mula btw.

Berikut merupakan komen-komen untuk kelas :

Drama:
Macam agak kompliketet ya awal-awal ni sebab belaja pasal elizabethan(?) theater lah ancient greek theater lah modern theater lah stage setting lah etc etc jadah haram. I dun riek. Bila nak start berlakon ni hahahagagaahagahga. Dahlah buku teks Drama yang tebal tu aku baru potostet tadi. So dalam kelas minggu ni aku macam lost sikit haha. Blame Mak aku sebab masuk duit lambat T_T

Oral Communication:
Kelas yang ni aku macam agak seram. Sebab kena banyak cakap :| Dalam inglis pulak tu ee ngeri aku nak berspeaking-speaking ni. Last skali aku cakap depan orang ramai adalah dua tahun lalu iaitu masa mewakili sekolah dalam pertandingan debat bahasa inggeris dan pertandingan public speaking hikhikhik. Kalah menang belakang kira ok. Jadi disebabkan skill percakapan di khalayak ramai aku sudah rusty, maka aku pun macam mencarut bila bercakap di hadapan orang ramai. Bukan mencarut yang tak senonoh tu, macam cakap merepek la. Hish, lampi.

Lagi-lagi impromptu speeches kaaaaaaaan. Memangla aku suke sangat speeches yang kena bagi on the spot ini. Dalam kes aku kalau preparation zero performance aku pun level-level tu jugak. Mungkin kerana stage fright aku sudah datang balik (CEH) and aku cepat dapat random panic attacks bila cakap inglis kat depan orang ni. Unprepared.

Kalau cakap besembang boleh. Ni kalau nak cakap yang formal-formal ni. Eeeeeee memang harapan la nak jadi public speaker yang senonoh. Tapi yang bestnye subjek ni takde final exam hahaghagahga. Yang tak bestnye pulak, throughout the whole semester kau kena bagi 4 kinds of speeches. Dua individual, dua in pairs. Pastu kan, ada demonstrative speech. Yang ni in pairs. Demonstrative speech ni macam kau kena cakap sambil demonstrate something. Macam cooking shows tu. Aku opkosla dengan Mee kan. Nasib baik ada Mee die tau buat macam-macam hagahgahaghaghagahgahag ya aku memang hopeless

Hish asal panjang sangat pasal Oral Com ni. Next,

Introduction to Human Science:
Aku rasa subjek ni adalah subjek paling comel dalam 7 subjek yang aku amek sem ni. Serious. Dahla lecturer pon comel, belaja bende comel(?), aktiviti dalam kelas pon comel jugak. Masa first class aktiviti kitorang adalah sangat comel. Lecturer tu suruh bayangkan yang kitorang ni dah kahwin and ada dua anak. Sorang lelaki umur 16 and sorang lagi perempuan umur 11. Pastu anak laki ni macam remaja bermasalah la. Sap kok la, gambling la(ftw), ponteng skolah la. Kalau memang anak aku, aku tendang klua rumah je ni hahahahagahgahaghaghaga

Lepastu lecturer tu suruhla kitorang tulis surat nak advice anak kitorang(?) tu. Lepastu die randomly pick 3 surat and die bace in front of the whole class. Surat aku comel gila tapi tak kena pick T_T

HA lepastu adalah sorang budak laki ni, die tulis surat tu kan, dalam surat tu die cakap die nak libas anak die 100 kali sebab gamble HAHAHHAHAAGHAGAHAGHAGA COMEL KE APA WEHHHHHHHH. Budak laki tu pun comel KAN AYUNIE KAN KAN KAN EHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE. (gelak gedik untuk Yunie ya bukan untuk diri sendiri)

Essential English Grammar (Aku lupa nama betul subjek ni hahagahgahgaag):
For this subject aku dapat lecturer yang ajar aku BMW( Basic Research Method and Report Writing ya, bukan kereta) sem lepas. Lecturer ni memang orang salu kata suare die monotonous la, die aja boring la, suke tolak markah la (dah kau dok mengumpat belakang die sape suroh hagahag). But personally, I like her. Bukan bodek ke ape ok. I just do. Sebab memang dah care die macam tu kan. Kau adapt jelah. Banyak bunyi pulak. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Tapi memang serious ok aku suka lecturer tu. Walaupun BMW aku dapat B- sem lepas T_T

Subjek yang ni memang belajar pasal grammar jelah. Tenses, countable uncountable nouns, comparative superlatives semua tu. Rasa cam sekolah rendah la pulok. Tapi aku rasa ok kot. InsyaAllah boleh :D

And one more thing about this lecturer is that she uses the negative comments that she gets to improve herself. Selalu kelas die ni memang ramai orang tido tapi haritu due jam kitorang gelak tak habis-habis. Die buat ice breaking activity for the whole class haha comel kan comel kan lecturer korang buat keeeeeeeeeee hahahahahgahaghaghag.

So the game is basically about going up to the front and talk. In inglis la opkos kan. Tapi bukan just random babbling ye. Madam ni dah sediekan like 20+ tasks written on papers. Kau pegi depan and kau amek satu paper.

Contoh soklan - Tell us three things about your hometown.

Ya, aku dapat soklan tu -_-

Pastu aku ni dahla lahir kat KL kan wadehel nak cerita pasal KL boring gila. So aku pun cerita la pasal Penang because a lot of people like to assume that I'm from Penang anyways -.- Merepak gila aku cakap pasal great food wtf, and Penang being the perfect holiday destination and all. Dahla terhayun-hayun sengsorang kat depan. Memanglah aku suka cakap kat depan ni kan.

I am so uninteresting.

Computer:
Kelas ni takde menda ah nak cakap. Bapak boring :|

Basic Themes of Quran:
Esok kelas first aku, so yeah.

Creative and Critical Thinking:
Tak pernah seumur hidup aku dah tiga kelas pun aku tak paham apa-apa. Lecturer aku 63 years old (lagi tua dari Ayah aku ftw) and he used to be the Dean dekat CFS or sth like that. Ok so maybe he can be really funny and everything BUT I STILL DON'T GET WHAT SHIT IS CCT. Like c'mon, takde course outline pon ok macamana aku nak paham menatang apa ni. Dahlah lecturer tu ajar tak pakai buku -.- Maybe he's really experienced kan I dunno. Tapi susahla kalau nak asyik take notes and dengar cerite yang takde kaitan dengan notes yang tengah disalin at the same time.

DO YOU FEEL ME PEOPLE?

Macam jadi makin lunyai je thinking skills aku ni.

So itulah description aku secara roughly(?) akan subjek-subjek yang aku amek sem ni. Ada yang macam harom and ada yang halalan toyyiban. Selamat berjaya ya diri sendiri.

*****

Aku tengah cuba untuk tak tido lepas subuh kat sini. Sebab dormmtes aku kan suka bukak lampu pukul 6 so it's not really that difficult. Isnin sampai Rabu aku berjaya dengan cemerlang la kan sebab kelas start pagi so lepas solat subuh tu gosok baju, buat milo pastu bukak facebook. Memangla ade orang nak online kan lepas subuh T_T

Tapi semalam aku fail sebab kelas aku start pukul dua petang hahahagahgahaghag. Kalau aku tak tido lepas subuh aku nak buat apa dari pukul 630 pagi sampai 2 petang O_O  Jangan bagi cadangan pegi jogging ke ape eh aku nyampah bab eksesais-eksesais ni hagahaghaghaghaga sebab tu lemak penoh sekitar kawasan perot huh

Aaaaaannnnddd minggu ni aku tak balik hu nyesal balik minggu lepas huuuu. Mak cerita bebi dah pandai cakap "Mmmiii, mmmiiii" kalau nak panggil Umi dia and "Bumbum bumbum" bile die nak pegi bumbum (slang manja untuk tido. Kebiasaannya digunakan oleh pakwe makwe)

HU RINDU GILE NI RASE CAM NAK LARI BALIK RUMAH PELOK CIOM GOMOL SI NAZIF TU DAHLAH GIGI PON DAH BESEPAH COMEL GILA HUAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Nak balik tengok bebi T_T

Yelah Naqib pon. HGAHAGAHGAHAGA. Ok rindu dua-dua ♥

The most awesome thing about having an iTouch

Semalam aku takleh tido. Dan oleh sebab aku dah agak boring dengan 200+ lagu yang ade dalam iTouch tu, aku pun teringin la nak dengar radio. Tapi egyfehfjgfrufgrtrfygrkfgrgffj iTouch takde function radio macam dekat phone -.- So aku pun terfikir la nak pegi search kat Installous (ni macam iTunes. Semua application kau boleh download, tapi bezenye yang ni FOC. Aku rasa care die berfungsi adalah someone hacked applications dari iTunes tu lalu pindahkah ke Installous. Kot. Entah) and cari manatau ada application untuk dapat local radio punya siaran ke ape kan.

Lepastu aku pun tulis la radio dalam kotak search(?) And then yang keluar semua Argentina Radio la Thailand Radio la Greece Radio la ftw. Lepastu aku nampak satu app ni name die Radio Live! (memang ade tande seru ok) Macam menarik je so aku pun baca la what it's all about.

AWESOME GILA DOH BILA GUNA APPLICATION NI KAU BOLEH DAPAT SIARAN RADIO DEKAT US, UK, GERMANY, AND SEMUA EUROPEAN COUNTRIES ON THE SPOT! (tanda seru ni memang aku kena letak ok)

So malam semalam aku tidur sambil mendengar siaran Radio Britain hahagahaaghagahgahga. I ♥ the British accent. And macam agak funny sebab dengar iklan diorang pasal the offers at the local supermarket and whatnot. Rasa macam dekat UK pulak. Isk T_T

Tapi yang tak berapa nak bestnya bateri jalan macam air paip. Either app ni memang makan banyak beteri ataupun beteri aku yang ****ed up. Kalau kau nak dengar stengah jam bolehla. Tapi kalau nak dengar sampai 4,5 jam tu memang dari 100% jadi 0 la beteri kau. Kalau kau ada iTouch dan Installous silalah cuba download ya. Best giler er er. At least you're experiencing(?) something new rightt. Mana lagi weh kat Malaysia ni kau boleh dapat siaran radio overseas huh huh huh (Indon tak kire)

So in conclusion, owning an iTouch is like the key to discover really awesome, unbelievable apps.

Buy one! :D

Because I care

I found this article dekat one of my friends' punya wall.

 "SHISHA, antara sedar atau tidak, dianggap trend atau kecenderungan yang semakin menular sekarang. Di Malaysia, penggunaan shisha semakin popular di kota metropolitan yang sentiasa menyaksikan drama kehidupan muda-mudi dengan gaya hidup bebas baik lelaki mahupun wanita.

Secara am, shisha menjadi antara pilihan masyarakat bandar untuk melepaskan tekanan sambil santai. Sedangkan ia bukan gaya yang positif, tambahan pula apabila golongan remaja termasuk wanita turut terbabit. Shisha lebih bahaya berbanding rokok dari pelbagai segi.
Walaupun wujud persepsi buruk terhadap penggunaan shisha dalam kalangan masyarakat umum, segelintir orang masih ketagih dengan amalan popular dari Asia Barat ini. Kemunculan shisha masih baru di negara ini, namun pengaruhnya cukup menakjubkan.

Ramai menyatakan ia lebih selamat daripada merokok, tetapi ia tidak wajar sama sekali kerana kandungan asas bagi rokok dan shisha adalah sama, iaitu tembakau. Tembakau yang digunakan untuk rokok diasapkan terlebih dulu sementara tembakau yang digunakan untuk shisha diperam.

Air dalam shisha tidak dapat menapis banyak jenis toksin dalam asap shisha. Shisha juga mengandungi nikotin, karbon monoksida dan lain-lain bahan seperti rokok biasa. Bahkan arang yang digunakan mendap dalam salur pernafasan dan meningkatkan masalah paru-paru kepada lebih teruk berbanding rokok biasa yang juga berbahaya dari segi bahan pengawet digunakan untuk mengawet dan merawat tembakau dalam rokok.

Bagi mereka yang menghisap shisha di kedai kopi, perkongsian paip shisha mendedahkan mereka kepada bahaya lain seperti penyakit yang merebak melalui air liur. Penyakit yang biasa kita dengar, berjangkit akibat berkongsi shisha adalah TB. Tidak hairanlah jika kes TB di Mesir menjadi satu kebiasaan di semua hospital.

Kerajaan tidak putus asa berkempen mengurangkan jumlah perokok. Belum sembuh mengenai rokok wujud pula shisha yang lebih berat padahnya. Gejala ini terpulang kepada masyarakat untuk menilainya. Kita perlulah membuat pilihan bijak bagi menjamin tahap kesihatan diri sendiri.
Malaysia menantikan generasi masa hadapan yang lebih berpandangan jauh dan seiring dengan peredaran zaman, tetapi bukan bermaksud ke arah yang negatif. Tiada siapa dapat mengubah tingkah laku ini, melainkan diri sendiri. Janganlah biarkan negara kita mundur dek gejala ini.

MOHD FIRDAUS MOHD ISA,
Fakulti Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media UiTM, Shah Alam."

Selama ni aku ingat shisha tu lagi ok dari merokok. Tapi aku tak pernah shisha ye rakan-rakan. Dulu macam teringin la jugak sebab tengok semua orang pun shisha kan. Tapi lepas tu aku bersembang dengan sapetah and he said care die view perempuan bershisha ni same je dengan care die view perempuan merokok. So lepastu aku terus taknak shisha dah. I don't want people to see me like that. And the thought of sharing that shisha pipe thing with another 4,5 people isn't exactly comforting. Nanti ade air liur melekat-lekat :|

Baru aku tau shisha ni takde beze dengan merokok pon. Dua-dua pakai base tembakau rupanye. Hukum merokok haram kan, and shisha macam merokok so adakah shisha juga haram? o_O

Oh and they also said that smoking shisha for hours (I don't know how many hours to be exact) is like smoking, err, 400 cigs? God, that's a lot.

*****

Dua malam lepas aku start tengok crite 1 litre of tears sebab Lin asyik nag suruh tengok -.- Haritu Lin tengok pastu bangun pagi lebam bengkak cam erhfyg4ukgifuerfeui mate die. Ngeri jugak aku nak tengok takut jadi macam tu hahagahgahga. Macam orang putus cinte -_- 

Aku pun tengokla dengan aman dari episod 1 sampai stengah episod 8. Lepastu sebab nak dekat pukul 4 pagi dah aku pun tido la. And then last night aku sambung tengok. Start dari episod 8 sampai episod 11 non stop aku menangis. Sampai tersedu-sedan sorang-sorang depan laptop wadehel. Aku start nangis masa yang diorang kat jambatan tempat diorang first jumpa tu and laki tu cakap amendetah kat Aya aku tak ingat tapi aku tau sedih har har har. Start dari situ memang ade je pasal aku nak menangis. Yang paling teruk aku menangis mase laki tu cakap die suke Aya tu hehegehegehgehegehg.

Ok tipu. Paling teruk adalah mase die tengah bace 'Love Letter' yang Aya bagi. SUMPAH SEDIH GILE CAM ERYFG4UIF45GUFU4YIFGY4FREUIFUGYETDFUIEGV!!

Dahla habis satu episod die tunjuk pulak gamba Aya yang sebenar tu. Lagi kronik aku menangis T_T

Lepastu dah dekat 2,3 jam menangis non stop habisla cerite tu. Lepastu aku rase sangat loya. Lalu aku pun melutut di tepi jamban dan memuntahkan dinner aku malam tadi. Eh jap mula-mula aku termuntah dekat sink dulu. Pastu sink aku bau muntah ew ew ew ew ew. Nampak batang-batang kangkung yang aku makan malam tadi HAHAGAGAHGAHAGHA OK GELI. Lepas dah muntah dengan kroniknya aku pun makanlah gula-gula yang Yunie kasi last week sampai hilang rasa muntah yang jengkel dalam tekak. Dalam pukul 4 baru aku boleh tido. Tu pun rase muntah tak habis lagi yex.

And aku rasa aku taknak tengok dah cerita tu sebab nanti akan menangis dengan sangat parah sampai muntah-monggek -.- Tak pernah aku menangis sebegitu teruk sebab tengok cerita. Menangis sebab orang meninggal pun tak parah macamni. Isk.

I miss them :(

1 week is proving to be too much for me. I miss Naqib and Nazif :| And God knows lagi berapa minggu aku nak balik rumah ni. HUUUUUUUUUUUUU I WANT MY NEPHEWWWSSSSSSSSSSSS

LOLWUT.

Part hitam adalah sebab imej kepala-kepala tidak bertudung telah direflect oleh(ke?) wardrobe punya slide thing.

Muka 'I'm so awesome' Nazif :)

I actually miss this annoying brat T_T

BALIKLA CEPAT HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU T_T

Side note : I don't like the new feedjit.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry. I just felt like screaming in your face. Really. Sorry.

*****

Do you realize how when you were in kindergarten and primary school you would have those few special friends you would call your 'best friends'?

Do you realize as you get older, that label seems to have vanished and you realize that you don't have those 'best friends' anymore? Just a bunch of really good friends?

Do you realize these really good friends are the ones who knew every single detail about you and are still your friends?

Have you ever valued the way they never judged you even after knowing your biggest, deepest, darkest secret?

Do you know that finding friends like these are like finding a four leaved clover?

"Lucky I found you."

*****

Hi. I'm the socially awkward penguin.

.

Do you know how sometimes you just don't wanna see that emerging pattern? You just wanna ignore them and be oblivious to their very existence?

You know how sometimes when you do something, and you forgot to take other people's feelings into consideration? You know how much it hurts when people do exactly the same thing to you?

You know how sometimes you want people to treat you with with respect and nothing less? You know how sometimes you just take people for granted and not giving the least bit of shit about them?

You know how sometimes you think you're actually doing that someone a favor when you're just really crushing them without the both of you knowing?

You know how much that hurts? Or you just don't wanna know? Do you know how much I wanted you to know? I guess not.

Good news! I think

Here I is, blogging at I home.

I was forced(HEH) to go home today because Nilai BORING GILA NAK MATI UUURRRRGGGGHHHH. Seriously, jadual harian adalah bangun pukul 9,10 and then mandi and then main iTouch and then kalau rajin tulis kat sini and then tido and then kalau rajin 2x pegi bilik Yunie besembang, tengok movie and then balik bilik and then besembang dengan Mee, Sal and Qlah.

Boring tak boring hidop aku kat Nilai tu. Tiba-tiba rase cam tak sabar plak kelas nak start kan ehehehehehhehe.

Btw semalam Aisyah datang bilik aku pukul sebelas lalu telah bersembang dengan Aisyah lama gila nak ekat pukul 3 pagi baru habis hahagahga. Serious, kalau bersembang dengan Aisyah macam takkan pernah nak habis. ADE AJEEE BENDE NAK CAKAAPP. I hope Aisyah comes to my room everynight so it wouldn't be so boring :|

And I was thinking of something earlier. Apa kata kalau time cuti aku bukak facebook and then bila nak balik Nilai aku deactivate balik? EHEHEHEHEHE. BUKAN SEBAB TUNDUK PADA NAPSU YA. It's just really boring dekat rumah tak ada apa nak buat. And my nephews aren't even here sebab balik Kelantan adik kakak ipar aku nak kahwin so I practically have nothing to do except to stare at Tyah's face all day long which can be very boring and puke-inducing.

So it's a very good idea right? Bila nak balik Nilai nanti aku deactivate balik supaya dekat Nilai boleh study dengan aman tanpa facebook. Ehehehehehehe. And I'm not giving in to temptation ok, if you were in my shoes you'd understand how I feel at home. It's just beyond boooooooooooooooooorinnnnnnnnnnnnnngg.

Ok nak pergi activate balik facebook and see what had happened while I was gone :D

But you gotta admit, having to survive three days without facebook is quite an achievement for someone like me. Hihi.

Day 3

Oh god it's so hard not being on facebook all day long! Especially when you have absolutely nothing to do, like me. Really, all I ever do right now is sleep and eat and play Doodle and sleep summore. Sometimes aku turun pegi Yunie's room so that I could watch a movie with her. I don't like watching a movie alone. It's really boring -_-

Woke up around 8 today because Drama class SUPPOSEDLY starts at 9. But of course, it didn't. We saw the lecturer for that subject (no names allowed because I don't want my blog popping out in case she googles her own name or sth) at the department and she said there wouldn't be any classes this week because she has to do..er, something.

After that we bought lunch dekat kedai makcik. BUBUR NASI HAGAGAAGGA. Tu jelah yang aku berselera pun. Malas nak kunyah ajhaagahgajha. And then kitorang makan dekat bilik Yunie sebab dekat bilik boring gila Sal dengan Qlah tido lagi wtf -_- At least dekat bilik Yunie adala jugak benda nak buat. Ehegehgeheg.

Lepas makan aku pon godek-godek lah laptop Yunie. Nampak pulak satu album masa die pergi London, Paris dengan Rome last year. So apelagi kan hagagahgahagagag. She went with her parents, sisters and her brother. KIUT SIOT ABANG DIA KIUT GILA CAM UYFGJWEFRHGKWGFFEUJEF. ok tak kiut. TAPI HENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMM HAAGAHGAHGAAGA. Serious her brother is very good looking. Yunie herself is pretty so that kind of explains a lot.

Abang die baru 23 tahun single pulak tu eheheeeehehehehhehehehehe. I wonder what it's like to marry your friend's brother. Not that I want to you know, because I already have my eyes on somebody :D But just out of curiosity, wouldn't it be like really awkward? Because your friend is your adik ipar? I think it'll be sangat sangat sangat awkward. hagagaag.

Ok dah sangat mengantuk kene gi tido. And I'm prolly going home tomorrow so YEEEAAAAYY.

Oh and dekat library tadi aku jumpa buku Dear John like omg wtf. And I'm going to finish that at home. I hope it'll be a distraction for me from facebook. I NEED DISTRACTIOOONNN.