Well as you're probably already aware, my birthday is in two days.
And I don't feel excited at all. It's just gonna be like last year won't it? Just a normal day. I'll wake up at twelve. Shower and then have lunch alone. Mak would probably say happy birthday or something. Ayah would probably forget it like he always does. Well I don't really blame him. He does have a lot more important things on his mind. My birthday is just an insignificant date that nobody would probably remember. Sigh.
Oh my friends would probably wish me throughout the day. And maybe someone would buy a cake for me. Secret recipe, either chocolate indulgence or blueberry cheesecake. It's the same thing happening all over again. The only thing that will differ is that I'm gonna be nineteen. Perhaps nobody would even bother buying me presents. I miss having birthdays when I was a little girl. Especially if my birthday is on school day. Everyone wishing me in the morning, giving me Happy Birthday cards. Surprising me with unexpected presents. Sigh.
But for the past I-don't-know-how-many-years-it-has-been, I've been 'celebrating' my birthday at home. Most of which had been a very very low key affair. No parties. No having friends over. No present opening sessions. Heck, no presents. No nothing really. Sigh.
I guess it would be nice if someone organized a surprise birthday party at my own house. It would be really sweet :) But I'm not really setting high hopes on that one. Most of my friends will be in college, or school or they would just probably be really busy because the new semester at UIA will be starting very soon. They would probably make preparations for their new semester rather than organize some stupid surprise birthday party for me. Right now I wish there were no birthdays :( Sigh.
I don't know if this year will be any different from the years before. Maybe Mak will take me to OU and let me buy a little something for myself. Or maybe not (this one is very likely). Maybe it'll just be the same bloody situation it has been for what, 4 to 5 years in a row now? I'm not asking for much. It's just that it would be nice to have something different for a change. I hate being stuck in a rut. Like I am right now. The same thing, the same time, the same people day in and day out. I am secretly (not anymore) sick of it. I want some kind of change. Although I know it's not really possible :( Sigh
Well I guess I'll go ponder on how to end my boring rut right now.